Best comedy movie quotes of 1990

Eddie Farrell: As Pericles said to the Athenians, "Where do I drain the lizard?"

Nora: I say do it. I don't care what, just do it. Jam me, jack me, push me, pull me, talk hard.

Ernest P. Worrell: Did you hear the one about the three legged dog that walked into a bar and said, "I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw."

Billy Covington: I don't wanna crash twice in one day.
Gene Ryack: Don't worry, I crash better that anyone I know.

Louis: Rent-a-cops! I hate rent-a-cops too.

Reggie Hammond: Let me tell you something, Jack. If shit was worth something, poor people would be born with no asshole.

Suzanne Vale: Instant gratification takes too long.

Greg Samson: Let me add that if I catch the kidnapper of my poor son, I'll offer him Christian forgiveness. Then I'll skin his honkers and use 'em for shammy cloths.

Charles Drucker: Harris. Say something honest, no holds barred. GO.
Harris: I like... small boys.
Charles Drucker: About the product, you fucking idiot.

Kari: I'll bet you my thongs.
Finn: OK, I'll bet you my underwear and raise you a truth or dare.
Kari: What? You can't bet a truth or dare!
Finn: Just because I ran out of clothes doesn't mean I can't still bet.

Graham Marshall: My father had it all figured out. He was a London bus driver. And when I was a boy, he used to take me over the river to Mayfair, where the rich people lived. And he used to say to me, "Son - there is no heaven. Here is the closest you will ever get. Life, here, is sweet. Life, back over there, is hard. So live over here, son!"

Rosalie Boca: We didn't do it. I swear to God we didn't. We found him outside, on the lawn.
Devo Nod: ...Right outside.
Rosalie Boca: ...He was lying there, someone had shot him, and thrown him on the lawn.
Nadja: Yeah, it was a mess.
Rosalie Boca: ...It was terrible. So we brought him inside and we... we put him in bed... and... yep... It must have been the Mafia.
Lt. Larry Schooner: Mafia?
Devo Nod: The Mafia.
Nadja: Yeah. Joey was Italian.
Rosalie Boca: He is Italian.
Devo Nod: He is Italian.

Muse: Yeah, I know Professor Davis. He's trying to get you into the sack.
Alice: No.
Muse: Yeah, it's the main reason he teaches: female pupils.
Alice: No, he's, he's very deep! He's not like that.
Muse: Yeah, 'very deep' is exactly where he wants to put it.

George Jetson: Jane! Get me off this crazy thing.

Nick Smith: Dawn in the big city. There are eight million stories out there.

Napoleon Stone: You are dancing around with a cheeseburger.

Rachel Flax: One thing you can rely on about your father: He can't be relied on.

Dinky Bossetti: Who understands ANYONE these days... who WANTS to?
Gerald Howells: Gosh, I want to kiss you so bad, Dinky.
Dinky Bossetti: It's good to want things.

Molly: ...you have no respect for women.
Joey: I guess dinner and a blow job's out of the question.
Molly: I guess.
Joey: We'll forget dinner.

Spencer Barnes: I've worked hard to work this hard.