Mr. Peabody: Maybe all Junior needs is to be loved.
Mother Superior: Let's cut the crap, Mr. Peabody. Either Junior goes or you find yourself some new nuns.
Junior: I hope you guys are insured.
Little Ben Healy: I hope I'm not rushing you dear. We can always let nature take it's course.
Flo Healy: Nature screwed us over, let's give congress a try.
Junior: Why does this guy love me? Why does any parent love any kid? Maybe it's one of those answers we'll never know, like how high is up? Why is the sky blue? And whatever happened to Mrs. Healy?
Mr. Peabody: Could you act like nuns?
Junior: Some people never learn.
Little Ben Healy: Nobody messes with The Healys and gets away c'mon.
Little Ben Healy: Dad, we adopted.
Big Ben Healy: Are you insane?
Little Ben Healy: I thought you'd be happy.
Big Ben Healy: Happy? You don't know what you're letting yourself in for. For all you know, his parents may have met in the looney bin. They might even be democrats.
Junior: You ever seen a grown man wear so much blue?
Little Ben Healy: We've adopted Satan.
Junior: Hahahahahaha.
Mr. Peabody: What's so funny?
Junior: You are you stupid dick.
Martin Beck: I drove over a thousand miles, to hang out with a seven year old.
Junior: I'm going to be eight in two weeks.
Martin Beck: Don't count on it.
Mother Superior: You see Mr. Peabody the child is incorrigible.
Junior: I'm what? Why don't you speak English lady?
Junior: Hey, Martin! Let's go see the bearded lady.
Martin: No, I've seen too many of them in prison.