Best comedy movie quotes of 1990

Brontë Mitchell Faure: We don't have to like each other. We just have to get married.

Delbert McClintock: Rock and roll.

Marvin Libner: Work, huh, responsibility. Don't these words mean anything to you?
Robert 'Bobby' Libner: Duh.

Huey Walker: Mandatory aids testing for all government employees. I guess that means you, Buckner. I wouldn't worry though, you look like a practitioner of safe sex. As a matter of fact, you look like a practitioner of no sex.

Muse: Yeah, I know Professor Davis. He's trying to get you into the sack.
Alice: No.
Muse: Yeah, it's the main reason he teaches: female pupils.
Alice: No, he's, he's very deep! He's not like that.
Muse: Yeah, 'very deep' is exactly where he wants to put it.

Detective John Kimble: You should be reading stories about bears that go shopping.

Rachel Flax: One thing you can rely on about your father: He can't be relied on.

James Ubriacco: Let's see, we've got Schwarzenegger and Betty Boop. Hmm, tough call, they're both really built and they both talk funny.

Molly: ...you have no respect for women.
Joey: I guess dinner and a blow job's out of the question.
Molly: I guess.
Joey: We'll forget dinner.

Father Luke Brophy: She has an unGodly voice, maniacal facial expressions.
Father Jebedaiah Mayii: That doesn't prove a thing, she could be related to Joe Cocker.
Father Luke Brophy: No.
Father Jebedaiah Mayii: Could it be she had PMS?

Brian Hope: Look Charlie, some con men sell life insurance. The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant! Everyone thinks you might need it, and no-one can prove you don't.
Charlie McManus: The church isn't selling anything, Brian.
Brian Hope: Oh! Well, if the church isn't selling anything how did it get to be so rich? Just remember, wherever there's a deep human need there's money to be made.
Charlie McManus: You think so?
Brian Hope: Of course, look at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Clark Kellogg: I'm illegally transporting endangered species! Please, sir, I'd like to be let out.
Carmine Sabatini: Wait a minute. This is an impossibility.
Clark Kellogg: What do you mean? Why can't.
Carmine Sabatini: Look, Clark. I have a certain standing in the business community. How's it gonna look? A young college kid gonna make me look like a fool? I mean this is humiliation. It's infamia.

Bob the Turk: I warn you, do not make me do something that I would not do, unless someone made me do it because they didn't do something someone told them to do.
Gus Cardinale: Don't worry Bob, I would never do something to make someone do something to someone, because that someone didn't do something that someone wanted them to do.
Bob the Turk: I'm glad we understand each other.
Gus Cardinale: ...Me too.

Mr. Spacely: Don't give those guys anymore donuts.

Guildenstern: I think I have it: A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself.
Rosencrantz: Or just as mad.
Guildenstern: Or just as mad.
Rosencrantz: And he does both.
Guildenstern: So there you are.
Rosencrantz: Stark, raving sane.

Lula: Uh oh. Baby, you'd better get me back to that hotel. You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt.

Dr. Herbert West: He's a wife-beater, Dan! Use the gun.