Kindergarten Cop (1990)

Detective John Kimble: You should be reading stories about bears that go shopping.

Detective John Kimble: We're going to play a wonderful game called, "Who is my daddy and what does he do?"

Miss Schlowski: What did it feel like to hit that son of a bitch?
Detective John Kimble: It felt great.

Phoebe O'Hara: Not so tough without your car, are ya?

Joseph: My dad's a gynecologist. He looks at vaginas all day long.

Detective John Kimble: I'm back.

Miss Schlowski: Your teacher, Miss O'Hara, had to go somewhere.
Dominic: Where'd she go?
Miss Schlowski: That doesn't matter.
Lowell: Did she die?
Miss Schlowski: No, Lowell, she went to see someone.
Lowell: Did they die?
Miss Schlowski: No, Lowell.
Lowell: Everyone dies, you know.

Joyce: You know, kindergarten is like the ocean. You don't want to turn your back on it.

Kid: What's the matter?
Detective John Kimble: Oh, I have a headache.
Lowell: It might be a tumour.
Detective John Kimble: It's not a tumour! It's not a tumour at all.

Detective John Kimble: I really appreciate your honesty. You happen to know someone that is not better than me?
Dominic: I don't know that many people.

Detective John Kimble: I have a headache.
Lowell: It might be a tumor.
Detective John Kimble: It's not a tumor! It's not a tumor. At all.

Cullen Crisp: Kimble, you've wasted years chasing after me, and what has it got you? Huh? Nothing! I'll be out of here in a week, and you'll still be eating takeout food in that dump you live in. Yeah! I know all about you, Kimble. Without me, you wouldn't even have a life. My old lady left because of the money. Yours left because she just couldn't stand the sight of you.

Detective John Kimble: Just don't throw up on me.
Phoebe O'Hara: Nah, it's OK, I'm not gonna throw up on you. But I am gonna kiss you.

Joseph: Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.
Detective John Kimble: Thanks for the tip.