Earl Ramsey: Gun control is for wimps and commies. Listen, let's get one thing straight. Guns don't kill people. I do.
[Richard's in the water behind the boat and Larry is returning.]
Richard Parker: Stop the boat, you idiot! Stop the boat!
Larry Wilson: Where...where are the brakes?
Richard Parker: Boats don't have brakes, captain!
Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo: I tell you rest on need-to-know basis
Detective Tony Costas: Need to know? I tell you what I need to know, I need to know why I shouldn't put my foot up your ass!
Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo: Reason very simple. Most uncomfortable position for both parties. (00:42:15)
Lilly: Oh, Riff, since Cindy's not feeling well, looks like you and I are gonna be partners.
Riff: No fuckin' way.
Rhet: A roger, a love wand, joy stick, dong, zipper lizard, tally whacker, trouser snake, schlong.
Annie: You can't put wine in Hobo stew.
Phyllis: Why not? What goes better with Hobos than wine?
Da Mayor: Doctor, those that'll tell don't know, and those that know won't tell.
Dooley: Alright, let's get one thing straight: The woman is mine! Now we're both members of the animal kingdom. You know that and I know that. And we both know that this thing is really primal. So if you think you're such a badass you just try that one more time and you're gonna end up in a pet cemetary! You remember the movie Old Yeller? You remember when they shot him in the end? I didn't cry! Now come on.
Mae Thompson: How did this happen?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Let me handle this. How did this happen?
Corey: It's like the Adventures of Link. He has to find Zelda, you have to find a house. Same difference.
Haley: Boy, is that sexist.
Corey: It's not sexist! It's... romantic.
Maxwell Smart: Because at this very moment, this warehouse is being surrounded by one hundred cops with Doberman pinschers. Would you believe it? A hundred cops with Doberman pinschers.
Nicholas Dimente: I find that hard to believe.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe ten security guards and a bloodhound?
Nicholas Dimente: I don't think so.
Maxwell Smart: How about a Boy Scout with rabies?
Rebecca: Do me a favor, Zack?
Zachary Hutton: Name it, Becky.
Rebecca: Don't call me Becky. I fucking hate it.
Zachary Hutton: I'm truly sorry, Rebecca. It fucking won't happen again.
Police Chief Spiro T. Edsel: Use unnecessary force, if necessary.
Halley Reed: I wanted to give you this letter back.
Clifford Stern: It's my one love letter.
Halley Reed: It's beautiful. I'm just the wrong person.
Clifford Stern: It's probably just as well. I plagiarized most of it from James Joyce. You probably wondered why all the references to Dublin.
Denis Dimbleby Bagley: My grandfather was caught molesting a wallaby in a private zoo in 1919.
Psychiatrist: A wallaby?
Denis Dimbleby Bagley: It may have been a kangaroo. I'm not sure.
Psychiatrist: You mean sexually?
Denis Dimbleby Bagley: I suppose so. He had his hand in its pouch.
Amos Reed: Let him go, Hooch! I'm sorry, Scott. I don't have the hand-strength I used to. You're OK, aren't you?
Scott Turner: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I was looking forward to a nice quiet cup of coffee, but NOW I'M awake.
Kate: Are you going to walk me home? Or should I just get murdered on my own?
Wallace: No cheese, Gromit! Not a bit in the house.
Helen Downing: Back then, dinner and a movie might have gotten you into some girl's panties, but it's gonna take a lot more than that to get into mine.