Best comedy movie quotes of 1981

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Movie Quote Quiz
Student Bodies picture

The Breather: [On the phone.] I'm gonna kill next at the football game. Click.
Ms. Van Dyke: Did you hang up?
The Breather: No, I just said "click."

swordfish
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Stripes picture

John Winger: C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like going into Wisconsin.
Russell Ziskey: Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!

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Neighbors picture

Pa Greavy: Well, I hear you got a whore in there.
Earl Keese: Who told you that?
Pa Greavy: That's what I heard.
Earl Keese: Well, you heard wrong.
Pa Greavy: You ain't got a whore in there?
Earl Keese: No.
Pa Greavy: Wouldn't know where I could find one?
Earl Keese: Of course not.
Pa Greavy: One shows up, let me know?

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Arthur picture

Susan: Arthur, a real woman could stop you outside from drinking...
Arthur: Yeah, but she'd have to be a real BIG woman!

Lee Donovan
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The Cannonball Run picture

Batman: Mad Dog, you are going to take the shortcut to the interstate, right?
Mad Dog: We're in this to win, ain't we? If you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly!

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Zorro, the Gay Blade picture

Bunny Wigglesworth: There is no shame in being poor! Only in dressing poorly.

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Time Bandits picture

Pansy: Oh, Sir Vincent, you came for me.
Vincent: Oh, good Mistress Pansy, I could not have ridden faster! Four horses have I exhausted this day from Nottingham.
Pansy: Oh, the way you leapt to my chamber, so full of... of... manliness.
Vincent: I could scarce restrain the rushing of my feet! These twelve long years have been like chains thet bound me.
Pansy: Oh... Oh, and the personal problem?
Vincent: Oh, much - much better.

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The Great Muppet Caper picture

Lady Holiday: Give Stanley a tip, Nicky.
Nicky Holiday: For complimenting you on your necklace?
Lady Holiday: No, because it's customary.
Nicky Holiday: I haven't any change.
Lady Holiday: Then give him something bigger.
Nicky Holiday: Bigger? I left my wallet at home.
Lady Holiday: You left your wallet in college.

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History of the World: Part I picture

King Louis XVI: Ah, now there's a naughty bit o' crumpet.

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Gregory's Girl picture

Gregory: Have you ever been in love? I'm in love.
Steve: Since when?
Gregory: This morning. I feel restless and dizzy. I bet I won't get any sleep tonight.
Steve: Sounds like indigestion.

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Zombie Lake picture

Morane: So, you think that ghosts killed them?
The Mayor: Yes, that is what I think.

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Polyester picture

Francine Fishpaw: Oh Elmer, that dog stinks to high heaven. You'll be permeated by his odor.
Elmer Fishpaw: Yeah? Well, this whole world stinks, Francine, so get used to it! You and that big nose of yours are startin' to get on my nerves. Snortin' around the place like a goddamned anteater. I've about had it with you. Gimme that drink! Hurry up.

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An American Werewolf in London picture

Alex: David, please be rational. Let's go and see Dr. Hirsch.
David: Yeah, be rational. Sure. I'm a fucking werewolf, for Christ's sake.

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Caveman picture

Atouk: Zug-zug.

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Shock Treatment picture

Brad Majors: To Farley: I'm as sane as you are! Saner.
Cosmo: To Audience: And he was only with us for one day.

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Condorman picture

Krokov: Have you seen this report on this Condorman? On this man Wilkins? He is an amateur, do you hear? He is not an agent of the CIA! He is a writer of comic books.

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S.O.B. picture

Tim Culley: What'd you give him?
Dr. Irving Finegarten: Oh, a pinch of this, a dash of that. Sometimes referred to in the trade as a Sleeping Beauty Boilermaker. Take no notice if he begins to levitate. It's a common side effect.

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It's Magic, Charlie Brown picture

Lucy van Pelt: Linus, have you seen Charlie Brown?
Linus van Pelt: Nobody has seen him since Snoopy's magic show. I just talked to Sally, and she said even when you look at him, you don't see him.
Lucy van Pelt: What's that supposed to mean? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

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Modern Problems picture

Darcy: Max, please, what is the matter with you lately? I was kidding.
Max Fielder: Look at my face. I can't go to dinner like this. Look.
Darcy: Your face looks fine.
Max Fielder: I'm not going. I'm staying up here.
Darcy: Max. Max, you promised me that you would try to relax and be close to me this weekend.
Max Fielder: You were only kidding?

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Looney, Looney, Looney Bugs Bunny Movie picture

Yosemite Sam: Where am I? It sure is powerful warm in here. Is this Dallas?
Satan: No, but you're close.

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