[A bomb in Wadsworth's room is seconds from going off, causing the Chancellor to panic].
Chancellor: Please, please let me out. In the name of God, let me out. Let me out! Let me out!
Wadsworth: Yes, Chancellor. In the name of God, I will let you out.
Dylan Maxwell: Another day, another dick.
Todd Whitley: What is the point of all of this, after so many years?
Lilly Rush: People shouldn't be forgotten. They matter.
Todd Whitley: You're a crusader.
Lilly Rush: I guess I am.
Madeline Magellan: Enough with the pedanticism and let us eat.
Jonathan Creek: The word is pedantry.
Sister Josepha Montefiore: "Father, why hast thou forsaken me?" Christ asked the same question.
Richard: Did he get an answer?
Sister Josepha Montefiore: Well, he wasn't a scientist so he knew that... some questions have none.
Simon Holmes: Sometimes I wish we collected stamps for fun, instead of battling the forces of weirdness.
Reporter: The way I see it you and I are on the same team here. The only difference is you're looking for a cause of death and I'm looking for a by-line.
Jordan: You keep following me you'll be looking for a hospital.
Artie Nelson: Y'know what the Talmud says? When someone's comin' to kill ya, get up early, kill 'em first.
Dr. Max Hudson: If I start to go crazy can you... take care of me?.. In the back of the head.
Diana Skouris: You won't even see it coming... Dr. Hudson?
Dr. Max Hudson: I just gave you permission to blow my head off. You can call me Max.
Michael: Whoever sent us down here was smart, you know? Because they sent us together, and as long as we stick together, we're gonna make it.
Veronica: That guy's too big, that guy's too small, and that guy's... not a guy. Just in desperate need of a stylist.
Paul: You know, sometimes a guys just gotta set the world on fire, hey Rolfy. I wonder if there's a nice bottle of rubbing alcohol around here, and a match.
Ron Carter: In light of the severity of these crimes, we ask for remand, your honor.
Ms. O'Brien: In light of the weakness of their evidence, remand is absurd.
Ron Carver: The evidence past mustard with the grand jury.
Ms. O'Brien: Oh right, was my client indicted before or after the ham sandwich?
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: You know that it's considered unsolvable?
Charlie Eppes: Well, certainly people who have failed to solve it might think that.
Off. Tom Hanson #2: Without Jenko we're gonna be Charlie's Angels.
Episode #1.3 - S1-E3
Kate: You wouldn't have a problem if this was your daughter?
Jack: She's not my daughter!
Kate: She's someone's daughter.
Jack: Every woman I've ever had sex with was someone's daughter, it's never stopped me from playing daddy.
Kate: Urgh.
Jack: I think that might have come out wrong.
Kate: OK, if your daughter was a stripper.
Jack: Why is my daughter a stripper?!
Kate: Ah, so you would mind!
Jack: What if your son...was a rapist?
Kate: How is that relevant?!
Jack: You started it.
Kate: I want you to acknowledge how you'd feel if your daughter made her living by having men leering at her.
Jack: OK, how would you feel if your rapist son attacked my stripper daughter, threw acid in her face, she's disfigured for life, can't even work!
Kate: I wouldn't defend him.
Jack: Your own son?! Some mother you'd be.
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd: I'll have to have a word with you, please.
Jacqueline Wright: We're going to Longleat.
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd: I'm afraid the lions will have to wait.
Tracy: Now that I've expressly told you I don't need your help... I need your help.