Harvey Leek: Nash, the most high-tech thing on this computer is the flying toaster screen saver.
Michael: Whoever sent us down here was smart, you know? Because they sent us together, and as long as we stick together, we're gonna make it.
Detective Marty Hart: Do you wonder ever if you're a bad man?
Detective Rust Cohle: No. I don't wonder, Marty. World needs bad men. We keep the other bad men from the door.
Madeline Magellan: Enough with the pedanticism and let us eat.
Jonathan Creek: The word is pedantry.
Crypt Keeper: Heads, I win. Tails, you ooze.
Mary Jensen: Help me.
Peter Rickman: How?
Mary Jensen: Let Antubis help you.
Narrator: Ready for a story about superheroes? Ugh, more TV superheroes. Just what the world needs. Be honest, have you hung yourselves yet? Or, what if I told you this was actually a story about super-zeroes? Losers. Achingly pathetic meta-human goose eggs. How about it? Ready to feel better about your own miserable lives for the next hour or so? Follow me. Our story begins, as such stories do, with a visit to a Nazi. I'm sorry. Cobbler.
Artie Nelson: Y'know what the Talmud says? When someone's comin' to kill ya, get up early, kill 'em first.
Gerry Standing: Will you stop creeping up on me.
Brian Lane: I don't creep, I glide.
Ron Carter: In light of the severity of these crimes, we ask for remand, your honor.
Ms. O'Brien: In light of the weakness of their evidence, remand is absurd.
Ron Carver: The evidence past mustard with the grand jury.
Ms. O'Brien: Oh right, was my client indicted before or after the ham sandwich?
Lucius Belyakov: A dark heart dwells where the branches meet / Anointed dagger plunge thee deep.
Off. Tom Hanson #2: Without Jenko we're gonna be Charlie's Angels.
Horace Rumpole: She who must be obeyed.
Johnny Smith: We were always twenty minutes late to every movie we went to! How did ET get to Earth? I don't know. Why did the Empire strike back? Beats me.
DS Ellie Miller: Most people have a moral compass.
DI Alec Hardy: Compasses break.
Dennis 'Cutty' Wise: The game done changed.
Slim Charles: Game's the same, just got more fierce.
80's Batman: This isn't a mudhole. It's an operating table. And I'm the surgeon.
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd: I'll have to have a word with you, please.
Jacqueline Wright: We're going to Longleat.
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd: I'm afraid the lions will have to wait.
School Days - S1-E3
Max: When the moon is full, the tide is high.
Old Lady: You must want the spy school, that's next door.
Betty Cooper: I'm not gonna ask what you did with Veronica at Cheryl's. I'm asking you now, right now, if you love me, Archie, or even like me?
Archie Andrews: Of course I love you, Betty. But I can't give you the answer you want.
Betty Cooper: Why?
Archie Andrews: You are so perfect. I've never been good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for you.