Det. Stan Bolander: It's hard to meet single woman on this job. You meet plenty of widows, but the timing just don't seem right.
Det. Meldrick Lewis: Luther, Luther. Look both ways when you cross the street, my brother.
Luther Mahoney: You do the same.
Det. Tim Bayliss: So does the violence make them stupid or does the stupidity lead to violence?
Det. John Munch: Well, that's chicken and egg semantics. The important point is that we win some cases because our brains are repositories for intelligence and their brains are day-old banana pudding.
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in Baltimore, do as I tell you to.
Det. Stan Bolander: Have you been smoking the dope in the evidence room again?
Det. Frank Pembleton: You're not Catholic and you took communion?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Yeah, is that wrong?
Det. Frank Pembleton: If my God wins... You're screwed.
Det. John Munch: Life should come with a money back guarantee. If you're not satisfied, return unused portion for a full refund.
Det. Tim Bayliss: I can't stop seeing her face. Adena Watson's face in the rain. Wounds on her body. She was so tiny. I try not to care, but if I do that, if I actually stop caring, then I stop being who I am. No job's worth that.
Det. John Munch: The only thing I have in common with Judaism is we both don't like to work on Saturdays.
Det. Frank Pembleton: You know, sometimes you're funny. Then there's now.
Det. John Munch: Name one miracle that's happened in your lifetime.
Det. Stan Bolander: How 'bout the fact that I haven't killed you yet?
Det. Paul Falsone: You know, I was thinking of printing up one of those bikini calendars. You know, the cops of Baltimore type thing.
Det. Rey Curtis: What happened?
Det. Paul Falsone: You seen the cops in Baltimore?
Det. Rey Curtis: You're right. Munch in a thong would be a little hard on the eyes.
Dr. Julianna Cox, CME: Don't you even wonder why?
Det. John Munch: Why what?
Dr. Julianna Cox, CME: Why he lied.
Det. John Munch: I'm a homicide detective. The only time I wonder why is when they tell me the truth.
Det. Frank Pembleton: It's "till death do you part." You die, you part.
Det. Stan Bolander: How come every time I open that refrigerator, there's one drop of milk left in the carton? So who has to go to the 7-11 and replace the carton of milk?
Det. John Munch: Me.
Det. Stan Bolander: That's besides the point. He's doing that on my behalf. He could be doing something else for me.
Det. Mike Kellerman: You sure you want me with you?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Yeah, sure, why not?
Det. Mike Kellerman: I don't know, uh, last time we worked together you were kind of snarky.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Snarky?
Det. Mike Kellerman: Yeah, snarky, you know, from the ancient Greek, meaning butt head.
Det. John Munch: Homicide: our day begins when yours ends.
