Det. John Munch: I don't like to form attachments with people. They either get suspended or throw china at you.
Det. Frank Pembleton: He who loses control, loses.
Det. Tim Bayliss: So does the violence make them stupid or does the stupidity lead to violence?
Det. John Munch: Well, that's chicken and egg semantics. The important point is that we win some cases because our brains are repositories for intelligence and their brains are day-old banana pudding.
Det. John Munch: Life should come with a money back guarantee. If you're not satisfied, return unused portion for a full refund.
Det. John Munch: Name one miracle that's happened in your lifetime.
Det. Stan Bolander: How 'bout the fact that I haven't killed you yet?
Det. Frank Pembleton: It's "till death do you part." You die, you part.
Det. John Munch: Homicide: our day begins when yours ends.
Det. John Munch: Every evening is as random as the next, death doesn't follow a schedule.
Det. Frank Pembleton: Meldrick! In the mood for a multiple homicide?
Det. Meldrick Lewis: On a Friday night? Always.
Det. Meldrick Lewis: In this job you gotta be able to howl at yourself, or else you die inside.
Det. Steve Crosetti: Either it's murder, or this library has a very strict overdue policy.
Det. Frank Pembleton: Blind faith is the crutch of fools.
Det. Stan Bolander: It's hard to meet single woman on this job. You meet plenty of widows, but the timing just don't seem right.
Det. Stan Bolander: Have you been smoking the dope in the evidence room again?
Det. John Munch: The only thing I have in common with Judaism is we both don't like to work on Saturdays.
Det. Paul Falsone: You know, I was thinking of printing up one of those bikini calendars. You know, the cops of Baltimore type thing.
Det. Rey Curtis: What happened?
Det. Paul Falsone: You seen the cops in Baltimore?
Det. Rey Curtis: You're right. Munch in a thong would be a little hard on the eyes.
Det. Stan Bolander: How come every time I open that refrigerator, there's one drop of milk left in the carton? So who has to go to the 7-11 and replace the carton of milk?
Det. John Munch: Me.
Det. Stan Bolander: That's besides the point. He's doing that on my behalf. He could be doing something else for me.
