Shawn Spencer: The spirits tell me your little pants are on fire.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: I can't spend the night in the museum. I don't have my toothbrush, I don't have my multi-vitamins, and oh yeah, I don't want my soul suffering eternal damnation for disrupting the sleep of an Egyptian canal digger.
Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a rabid porcupine.
Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a traveling wilberry.
Shawn Spencer: Good morning, detectives! Collecting donations for the Policeman's Ball?
Carlton Lassiter: We don't have balls.
Shawn Spencer: I honestly have no response for that.
Carlton Lassiter: Need I remind you, Mr. Spencer, what happens when you interfere with a police investigation?
Shawn Spencer: Uhhh... The case gets solved?
Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a myopic chihuahua.
Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a silly goose.
Shawn Spencer: Oh, you mean my pilot's license? That's out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you're referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I'd have to kill you, which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked.
Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be an old sponge with hair hanging off it.
Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a paranoid schizophrenic.