Psych (2006)

Burton 'Gus' Guster: Are you crazy?
Shawn Spencer: I wouldn't say crazy. Maybe an eccentric who looks good in jeans.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be an old sponge with hair hanging off it.

Burton 'Gus' Guster: Shawn? What the heck are you doing here?
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you the same question.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: I work here.
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you a different question.

Burton 'Gus' Guster: You're taking my name off the lease and the door and these Frisbees.
Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be ridiculous. Look, I'm almost positive this isn't a load-bearing wall. But if you're really concerned, why don't you jump up and down in the attic to make sure?

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a myopic chihuahua. I have a foolproof plan that solves the case and gives the Chief all the credit.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: What is it?
Shawn Spencer: Actually, all I have is the phrase "I have a foolproof plan." Beyond that, I'm wide open.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a melted chocolate chip cookie.

Burton 'Gus' Guster: Don't you watch the news?
Shawn Spencer: I can't watch Channel 8 anymore. Lloyd Lansing wears a toupee. It's like every newscast begins with a lie.

Shawn Spencer: How can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren't on fire.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a rabid porcupine.

Burton 'Gus' Guster: I can't spend the night in the museum. I don't have my toothbrush, I don't have my multi-vitamins, and oh yeah, I don't want my soul suffering eternal damnation for disrupting the sleep of an Egyptian canal digger.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be this crevice in my arm.

Carlton Lassiter: So you think someone planted it in his locker?
Shawn Spencer: No, I think someone put it there on purpose.
Carlton Lassiter: That's what I just said.
Shawn Spencer: But mine wasn't in the form of a question, so it came from a place of power.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a traveling wilberry.

Shawn Spencer: I'm Shawn Spenstar and this is by partner, Gus "TT" Showbiz.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: The extra T is for extra talent.

Shawn Spencer: The chips say you're a cheater, cheater pumpkin eater.

Shawn Spencer: I can't believe this. You lifted your look right off this mannequin.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: On the contrary, Shawn. Clearly, someone is stealing my look.
Shawn Spencer: Right... I did see Tommy Hilfiger creeping from bush to bush sketching you.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a paranoid schizophrenic.

Carlton Lassiter: Now I need to know your process.
Shawn Spencer: Do you really want to know my process?
Carlton Lassiter: Absolutely.
Shawn Spencer: Well, it starts with a holla! and ends with a Creamsicle.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: And if there's time in between? ThunderCats. Ho-oh.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a myopic chihuahua.

Burton 'Gus' Guster: Wasn't Howie the victim at one point?
Shawn Spencer: Gus, that is so forty minutes ago. I bet you're still telling your friends to chillax.