Eddie Haskell: Gee, your kitchen always looks so clean.
June Cleaver: Why, thank you, Eddie.
Eddie Haskell: My mother says it looks as though you never do any work in here.
June Cleaver: Wally, where are you going?
Wally Cleaver: I'm going over to slug Eddie.
June Cleaver: That's no way to talk, this is Sunday.
Wally Cleaver: You're right, I'll wait 'til tomorrow and slug him in the cafeteria.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: If I had my choice between a three pound bass and a girl, I'd take the three pound bass.
Wally Cleaver: Where'd you hear all that jazz?
Wally Cleaver: Are you being a wise guy?
Mr. Willet: Mr. Whitney?
Hubert 'Whitey' Whitney: Who, me?
Mr. Willet: Yes. I spoke to you yesterday about making faces at Miss Hensler, didn't I?
Hubert 'Whitey' Whitney: I'm not making faces Mr. Willet. I just can't help laughing when I look at her.
Ward Cleaver: Wally, believe it or not, I was your age once.
Ward Cleaver: A man never gets so old, that he forgets how it was being a little boy.
Ward Cleaver: Ah, June, Gilbert's always talking about his parents. Have you ever met them?
June Cleaver: Oh, I see her at the supermarket every once in a while. She seems like a calm sensible person.
Ward Cleaver: You can't really go by that. You might look the same way to her.
Wally Cleaver: Are you giving me the business?
Wally Cleaver: Just watch what your sayin' Beaver or I'm liable to clop you one.
Ward Cleaver: Beaver, you know what Larry was doing was wrong. You could have stopped him.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Gee, Dad, I have enough trouble keeping myself good without keeping all the other kids good.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: You wanna' mess around later?
Larry Mondello: I can't, I'm grounded.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: How come?
Larry Mondello: My father caught me eating pie in bed.
June Cleaver: Ward, I'm very worried about the Beaver.
