Bones

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I've never gotten a B and I never will.
Seeley Booth: That's my girl.

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Seeley Booth: [Gives Temperance a gun.] This is only for self-defence.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What part do I aim for?
Seeley Booth: Any part that isn't me.

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Pilot - S1-E1

Dr. Temperance Brennan: What exactly am I supposed to be squinting at?
Seeley Booth: It's like pornography. You'll know it when you see it.

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Dr. Temperance Brennan: Every culture nurtures ideals of beauty toward which people strive - fine! But in the future people'll look back upon the surgical alterations of the nose or breasts or buttocks with the same horror that we regard the binding of feet or the use of bronze coils to extend the neck.
Seeley Booth: You wanna speak up? 'Cause it's really hard to hear every word in this very, very quiet waiting room.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's barbaric! It's painful! It's wrong! This murder victim may never be identified because some glorified barber with a medical degree has the arrogance to think that he could do better than a millennium of evolution.

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Harbingers in a Fountain - S5-E1

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Booth, don't kill the clown!

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[To Bones, who is wearing a Hazmat suit.]
Seeley Booth: How's it going there, Darth? Seen anything on Saturn? Please tell me you've seen at least one Star Wars movie?

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Dr. Daniel Goodman: That is not a tuxedo, Dr. Hodgins.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I am not going, Dr. Goodman.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are going.
[places name tag in Dr. Hodgins' pocket.]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: When we arrive the donors will all be wearing name tags.
Zack Addy: What do we talk about?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Your work, of course.
Angela Montenegro: Zack's work consists of removing flesh from corpses. Hodgins dissects bugs that have been eating people's eyeballs.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Leave me out of it - I am not going.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: And how do you see your job?
Angela Montenegro: [sighs.] I draw death masks.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Is that really how you see it?
Angela Montenegro: Don't you?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are the best of us, Miss Montenegro. You discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body. You give victims back their faces - their identities. You remind us all of why we're here in the first place - because we treasure human life.
[Angela hugs Dr. Goodman.]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Oh, for God's sake.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What happened?
Zack Addy: Apparently all Angela needed was to hear her job description in a deep African-American tone.

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Seeley Booth: I think there are doubts when it comes to an execution. There shouldn't be any doubts.
Prosecuter: He doesn't have doubts. He has cold feet.
Seeley Booth: Do you think I won't pop you one just because we're standing in the judge's kitchen?

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Angela Montenegro: I wouldn't bet a date with Colin Farrell on it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I know him. He's funny.
Angela Montenegro: That's Will Ferrell.

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The Woman in the Car - S1-E11

Brennan: Why don't we ever take my car?
Booth: Do you have bulletproof vests in the trunk?
Brennan: No.
Booth: That's why.

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Super Grover

The Man on the Fairway - S1-E14

Dr. Addey: Dr Goodman, we found 6 sets of human remains on that plane
Bones: Not to mention 3 bone fragments that were NOT on the plane.
Dr. Goodman: Is there any chance those bone fragments were on the plane?
Angela: What, as carry on luggage?

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A Demon

The Woman in the Car - S1-E11

Agent Booth: FBI!
US Marshall: US Marshalls!
Agent Booth: US Marshall?
Bones: Forensic Anthropologist.

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A Demon

A Boy in a Tree - S1-E3

[Head falls out of a tree.]
Bones: We're going to need an evidence bag
[Rest of body falls from tree.]
Bones: We're going to need a bigger bag.

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A Demon

The Girl in Suite 2103 - S2-E6

Camille Saroyan: There's a loop, people, and I'm in it! Not only am I in it...I'm the big, curvy part.

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The Man on the Fairway - S1-E14

Dr. Goodman: The information that I'm about to tell you must not leave this room
Hodgins: I am philosophically imposed to institutional secrecy in all its forms.
Dr. Goodman: Fine, get out.

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Zack Addy: Krystal from accounting is after you, isn't she?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Uh, like Alien after Predator.

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Seeley Booth: We're Scully and Mulder.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know what that means.

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Angela Montenegro: Anger is only fear turned inwards.

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Mistakes

The Roswell, New Mexico sheriff forces Bones to examine the body because it was found in his jurisdiction. But later in the episode, we learn that the body was found 2 kilometers from the border of Mexico. Roswell is not even in a county on the border of New Mexico much less one that borders Mexico. In fact the closest border to Roswell between the US and Mexico would be in Texas - hours drive away. The Roswell sheriff would have no jurisdiction.

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Trivia

At around 5 mins 11 seconds into the episode, Vincent Nigel-Murrey and Dr. Saroyan are discussing the bones on the forensic platform. In the background of a shot of Vincent, the x-ray on the screen is of Homer Simpson's head in the middle of the screen, instead of a real human skull.

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