The Office
Movie Quote Quiz

Test the Store - S8-E17

New this month
Dwight Schrute: Today is press day, and press is gonna make or break this store. And for a tech company, press can only mean one thing...bloggers. Dossier on bloggers. Bloggers are gross. Bloggers are obese. Bloggers have halitosis. You're gonna love ‘em.

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Couples Discount - S9-E15

New this month
Kevin Malone: Andy left a carton of milk in the fridge. So, I've been sneaking a little bit every day for the last three months. It's been yummy. But now, Andy's coming back. So, I guess it's good-bye, chunky lemon milk.

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Bishop73

New Guys - S9-E1

New this month
Kevin Malone: Angela's cats are cute. So cute that you just want to eat ‘em. But you can't eat cats. You can't eat cats, Kevin.

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Bishop73

Michael's Last Dundies - S7-E20

New this month
Michael Scott: The Dundies are my baby, and they need to go on. When Larry King died, they didn't just cancel his show. They got Pierce Morgan to come in and do his show, and that way Larry lives on.

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Nepotism - S7-E1

New this month
Gabe: [headshot] I started dating Erin this summer. It has been, in a word, exquisite.
Erin: [headshot] Gabe is awesome. He has accomplished so much career-wise and height-wise. Thank God he's my boss because I would not have said yes to a first date...if I didn't have to. But...it's been great.
Andy: [headshot] Am I angry that Gabe stole my girlfriend over the summer? No. I've been through anger management, OK? So right now I am sitting on a nice beach at Cape Cod, gazing out across the whitecaps. Oh, look, it's a humpback whale. How pretty. He's eating Gabe.

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Whistleblower - S6-E25

New this month
Michael Scott: It's not been a blockbuster year for me financially. My Blockbuster stock is down.

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Bishop73

Business Trip - S5-E7

New this month
Michael Scott: A concierge is the Winnipeg equivalent of of a geisha. This is a woman who has been trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure. And when you meet one, it is intoxicating. Just what the doctor ordered.

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Money - S4-E4

New this month
Pam Beesly: Now that I think about it, Angela and Andy might actually make a good couple. But I couldn't do that to Dwight...or Angela...or Andy.

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Fun Run - S4-E1

New this month
Michael Scott: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not, like, this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.

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Fun Run - S4-E1

New this month
Michael Scott: I ran down Meredith with my car.
Ryan Howard: Oh! Did you do this on purpose?
Michael: No, I was being negligent. But she's in the hospital, she's fine, recovering nicely. Tiny little crack in her pelvis. But she will be-
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael: Yes. It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy. We are fine.
Ryan: I don't, I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael: Oh, right, I'm sorry. What is "we're fine"?
Ryan: [sighs].

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Phyllis' Wedding - S3-E15

New this month
Michael Scott: Hi, I'm Michael Scott. And for the next 40 minutes, I am going to be your tour guide through the lives of Phyllis Lapin and Bob Vance. One of the great, seemingly impossible love stories of our time. My name is Michael Scott. Webster's Dictionary defines "wedding" as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. Well, you know something? I think you guys are two medals. Gold medals. For those of you who don't know me. I'm Michael Scott, Phyllis' boss.

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Casino Night - S2-E22

New this month
Michael Scott: And another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby?
Toby Flenderson: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's...uh...you know, there's gambling and alcohol. And it's in our dangerous warehouse. And it's a school night. And Hooters is catering. Is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael: [long pause] Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, ever time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate, so much, about the things that you choose to be.

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Valentine's Day - S2-E16

New this month
Michael Scott: Well, here we go, on our way to New York. New York, New York. The city so nice they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name.

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Michael Scott: This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell outta here.

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Michael Scott: Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one."Little Kid Lover." That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.

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Michael Scott: Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot a deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour. Why do you ask?

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Michael Scott: It's simply beyond words. It's incalculacable.

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Michael Scott: That's what she said.

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Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam Beesly: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.

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Michael Scott: What is the single most important thing for a company? Is it the building? Is it the stock? Is it the turnover? It's the people. The *people*. My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No, no, no, no. It was a young Guatamalan guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went "Mr. Scott, will you be the Godfather to my child?" Wow. *Wow.* Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.

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Michael’s incompetency

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Mistakes

In 2-13 "The Secret" Pam and Jim are talking about how Jim used to have a crush on Pam when she first started here. This implies that Jim was working here when Pam was hired. However, in this episode Pam says that when Jim first started working there she said, "Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your desk-mate, Dwight." These two scenes contradict each other.

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Trivia

Creed Bratton plays the voice of the Industrial Coal Mine Shaft employee that Michael talks to on the phone when he's trying to come up with some surprise for the staff.

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