Gabe: [headshot] I started dating Erin this summer. It has been, in a word, exquisite.
Erin: [headshot] Gabe is awesome. He has accomplished so much career-wise and height-wise. Thank God he's my boss because I would not have said yes to a first date...if I didn't have to. But...it's been great.
Andy: [headshot] Am I angry that Gabe stole my girlfriend over the summer? No. I've been through anger management, OK? So right now I am sitting on a nice beach at Cape Cod, gazing out across the whitecaps. Oh, look, it's a humpback whale. How pretty. He's eating Gabe.
Michael Scott: It's not been a blockbuster year for me financially. My Blockbuster stock is down.
Michael Scott: A concierge is the Winnipeg equivalent of of a geisha. This is a woman who has been trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure. And when you meet one, it is intoxicating. Just what the doctor ordered.
Pam Beesly: Now that I think about it, Angela and Andy might actually make a good couple. But I couldn't do that to Dwight...or Angela...or Andy.
Michael Scott: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not, like, this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.
Michael Scott: I ran down Meredith with my car.
Ryan Howard: Oh! Did you do this on purpose?
Michael: No, I was being negligent. But she's in the hospital, she's fine, recovering nicely. Tiny little crack in her pelvis. But she will be-
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael: Yes. It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy. We are fine.
Ryan: I don't, I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael: Oh, right, I'm sorry. What is "we're fine"?
Ryan: [sighs].
Michael Scott: Hi, I'm Michael Scott. And for the next 40 minutes, I am going to be your tour guide through the lives of Phyllis Lapin and Bob Vance. One of the great, seemingly impossible love stories of our time. My name is Michael Scott. Webster's Dictionary defines "wedding" as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. Well, you know something? I think you guys are two medals. Gold medals. For those of you who don't know me. I'm Michael Scott, Phyllis' boss.
Michael Scott: And another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby?
Toby Flenderson: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's...uh...you know, there's gambling and alcohol. And it's in our dangerous warehouse. And it's a school night. And Hooters is catering. Is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael: [long pause] Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, ever time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate, so much, about the things that you choose to be.
Michael Scott: Can I ask you a question?
Jan Levison: No.
Michael: This is a business question. It's nothing personal. I promise.
Jan: Fine.
Michael: Are you wearing new perfume today?
Jan: How is that a business question?
Michael: Well, you're wearing it in the office. And...[sniffs Jan]...It... I'm sorry, no offense, but it's really sexy.
Jan: Please don't smell me, Michael.
The Dundies - S2-E1
Jan Levison: You already had a party on May 5th for no reason.
Michael Scott: No reason! It was the 05-05-05 party. It happens once every billion years.
Jan: And you had a luau. And the tsunami relief fundraiser, which somehow lost a lot of money.
Michael: Okay, no, that was a fun raiser. I think I made that very clear in the flyers. Fun, F-U-N.
Jan: Okay, well, I don't understand why anyone would have a tsunami fun raiser, Michael.
Michael Scott: Stir the pot! Stir the melting pot, Pam! Let's do it. Let's get ugly. Let's get real.
Pam Beesly: [To Dwight with the "Asian" card on his forehead] Okay. If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.
Dwight Schrute: Oh, man, am I a woman?
Pam Beesly: I suggested we flip a coin, but Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course by saying that, she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.
Michael Scott: I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third.
Dwight Schrute: Your pencils are creating a health hazard. I could fall and pierce an organ.
Answer: This is what a person on Reddit wrote regarding Jim and Pam: I know Morse code well, and most of it was gibberish, especially Jim's clicks. Pam's second transmission was almost intelligible as SE HE IT (3 clicks 1 click, 4 clicks, 1 click, 2 clicks and long click). "
raywest ★