Father Ted: I know what's going on, Pat Mustard. There are some very hairy babies on Craggy Island, and I think you are the hairy baby-maker.
Pat Mustard: Oh, yeah? Well, I think that you would need proof if you were going to make that sort of an accusation. And I'm a very careful man, Father. A very careful man!
Father Ted: Except when it comes to taking precautions in the bedroom.
Pat Mustard: Ah, w-... You certainly wouldn't be advising the use of artificial contraception now, Father, would you?
Father Ted: Yes, I... Well... If you're going to be... Of course you will... JUST FECK OFF!