Jack Deveraux: Oh, that would only leave more food for you, wouldn't it? Not that you need it.
Eve Donovan: What's that supposed to mean?
Jack Deveraux: Well, you've been hitting the old feed bag a lot lately, haven't you?
Eve Donovan: Are you calling me FAT? You wimp string bean! Do you hear that? Not only am I a thief, but I'm a FAT thief.
EJ Wells: Well, you know the Salem Police Department - they never get anything right.
Bo Brady: Hold on. Just out of curiosity, have you logged any flight time in a jalopy like this?
John Black: It's been a couple years. Of course, the last time I flew, it didn't have as many doohickeys and gadgets, but that's a minor detail.
Bo Brady: Doohickeys and - I'm glad to see you're well-versed in the technical terms. I'm full of confidence. Not.
Bo Brady: Tell Marlena I love her.
John Black: Sorry Bo, she's taken.
Mickey Horton: What kind of gun was it?
Jack Deveraux: It's the kind that you pull the trigger and it shoots.
Sami Brady: You are insane.
EJ Wells: No, my dear. I'm a DiMera.
Jack Deveraux: I'll just be on my way. There are widows to fleece, mortgages to foreclose on, and heroines to tie to the track. Busy, busy, busy.
Kristen: Where'd he go?
Vivian: This is no time to speculate. Accept your fate, finish packing, get the hell out of Sale.
Kristen: Oh, wait a second! Wait! If John's not here, it means he won't be here when Marlena arrives.
Vivian: Kristen, you are buying seconds, nothing more. Come with me now before it gets worse.
Kristen: Worse? What could possibly be worse than this? What could possibly happen?
Hattie: Dr. Stiner will you help me? I'm putting myself in your hands.
Rolf: Hattie, there is too much of you to fit in my hands.
Belle Black: Do you believe everything a beautiful girl tells you?
Shawn Brady: Well, I believe everything you tell me.
Belle Black: Good answer.
Belle Black: Sometimes guys don't think before they open their mouths and end up saying something stupid, which is why our brains have to work overtime.
Sami: Haven't we taught you anything, there are crazies out there.
Will Roberts #3: I didn't have to leave Salem to know that.
Tony Dimera: I would invite you back but I'm afraid you'll say yes.
Craig: What's going on?
Chloe: Boys! They're stupid, insensitive and annoying.
Craig: Congratulations! You're becoming perfectly normal.