Kathy Morningside: You know, you think you saved something tonight, but all you did was to destroy the dream of young women all over this country.
Gracie Hart: What? You think that their dream is to get blown up?
Eric Matthews: Just imagine that she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. What would you do?
Gracie Hart: You want me to beat it out of her?
Gracie Hart: Good evening, I know the program says I'm supposed to play the water glasses for you, but, uh, some of the girls got dehydrated.
Gracie Hart: His ego is like this big and his equpment is like this big.
Gracie Hart: Sir, that is one really really purple Russian, sir.
Eric Matthews: Maybe we could have dinner, you know?
Gracie Hart: What? You, like, asking me on a date?
Eric Matthews: No! Just casual dinner... If we happen to have sex afterwards so be it.
Gracie Hart: My teeth - What are you going to do with my teeth?
Victor Melling: Hopefully, remove the beer stains and steak residue.
Gracie Hart: The last time I was this naked in public I was coming out of a uterus.
Tobin: Whatever happened to World Peace?
Gracie Hart: It comes and goes.
Gracie Hart: What happened to team yo? You and me in it together?
Sam Fuller: Don't do that again.
Gracie Hart: People may care about people who care about themselves, but I just don't care about those people.
Gracie Hart: I wish you wouldn?t kiss my watch. It?s not water resistant.
Sam Fuller: Let me tell you when I'm gonna get you an iced Venti Caramel Macchiato: when they elect a black woman president of the Daughers of the American Revolution.
Gracie Hart: Okay. And if that happens, I'd also like one of those little muffins.
Sam Fuller: Where would you like it?
Sam Fuller: I've got to take her to the bathroom.
Gracie Hart: I need a tampon.
Sam Fuller: You heard her, we've got an agent down. We need tampons.
Jenkins: I'm not getting them.
Hills: I don't even get them for my wife.
Joel: I guess this is a job for a real man. Any particular brand?
Sam Fuller: I don't recall seeing a skinny, white-ass girl growing up at the table.
Gracie Hart: Okay, first of all... thank you for calling me skinny.
Gracie Hart: Wake up and smell the iced vente decaf caramel macchiato.
Gracie Hart: Cheryl would never refer to her ass as her booty! Cheryl would never refer to her ass, period! She calls it her "popo".
Jane: That's the world, that's politics. That's how it works. It starts out with big promises and ends up with jackshit happening. But like the man said: "If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal."
Sally Owens: Louis L'amour, who, by the way, was not a foreigner! He was from North Dakota, you asshole.
