Children: Witch! Witch! You're a bitch! Witch! Witch! You're a bitch.
Sally Owens: You'd think after three hundred years they'd come up with a better rhyme.
Aunt Jet Owens: Gillian, Sally. The only curse in this family is sitting there at the end of the table. Your Aunt Fanny.
Aunt Jet Owens: Oh, dear. It seems we've not arrived in the nick of time.
Aunt Frances Owens: Well. I see our instincts are getting a little rusty.
Kylie Owens: Mom, I'm worried about Antonia. Did you know that she put on her mouse ears and drives around town, all liquored up, naked?
Sally Owens: And I don't want them dancing naked under the full moon.
Aunt Jet Owens: No, of course. The nudity is entirely optional. As you well remember.
Gary Hallet: Strange town. Never spent this much on shampoo before, in my life.
Linda Bennett: Ladies... let's clean house.
Frances Owens: She heard the beetle ticking for your father's death all day long. She knew that when you hear the sound of the deathwatch beetle the man you love is doomed to die.
Sally Owens: Since when is being a slut a crime in this family?
Sally Owens: Can love really travel back in time and heal a broken heart? Was it our joined hands that finally lifted Maria's curse? I'd like to think so. But there are some things I know for certain: always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can.
Gary Hallet: So what kind of, uh... craft do you do?
Sally Owens: I manufacture bath oils and soaps... hand lotions... shampoo. And the Aunts, um... they like to meddle in people's love lives.
Aunt Jet Owens: Be careful what you wish for.
Gary Hallet: You're saying what I'm feeling is just one of your spells?
Sally Owens: Yeah. It's not real. And if you stay, I wouldn't know if it was because of the spell and... you wouldn't know if it was because I didn't want to go to prison.
Gary Hallet: Yeah, well... you know, all relationships have problems.
Sally Owens: Louis L'amour, who, by the way, was not a foreigner! He was from North Dakota, you asshole.
Aunt Jet Owens: There's a little witch in all of us.
Sally Owens: It was the curse, wasn't it? He died because I loved him so much.