Raj: Wait, hang on. If you're really Nathan Fillion, what's the line from Firefly about your bonnet?
Customer: I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you. Leonard: That's it. That's the line. Raj: Although, I knew the line, doesn't make me Nathan Fillion.
Customer: Do you want the picture or not? Raj: I want a picture with Nathan Fillion.
Customer: How about a picture with a guy who looks like Nathan Fillion, but a little more annoyed than Nathan Fillion usually is? Leonard: What do you think? Raj: Eh, it's good enough for Facebook.
Stuart: I can't believe she's gone. That woman took me in. If it wasn't for her, I would have been homeless.
Amy: One of us would have taken you in.
Stuart: Yeah, I don't recall any offers. But you know what, I'm glad it worked out the way it did, because I got to know this wonderful person.
Roy: Well, what did your doctor say? Captain Stanley: Well, actually, I haven't talked to a doctor yet. Roy: Then how do you know it's arthritis? Captain Stanley: What else could I have? Roy: I don't know, but instead of expecting the worst, you might just try to get the facts. Let me call Dr. Brackett. I'll arrange an examination. Captain Stanley: No, no, no! Roy: What do you mean, no? Why not? Captain Stanley: I can't leave here. I'm on duty. Roy: I'll make the appointment for tomorrow. Captain Stanley: No, I don't want to impose on Dr. Brackett. Roy: You're not gonna impose on Dr. Brackett. That's his job. That's why I'm giving him a call. Captain Stanley: No. Look, Roy, look. What if it isn't arthritis? Then I'd feel silly bothering him. Roy: If it is arthritis, wouldn't you like to know about it? Captain Stanley: That's hard news to take. Roy: Well, you've already given yourself the worst possible news. Captain Stanley: Yeah, but I could be wrong. Roy: Look, wouldn't you like to know one way or another? At least you'll stop worrying yourself to death over it. Captain Stanley: You'd worry too, if you had arthritis. Roy: Maybe you don't! Captain Stanley: Then why see a doctor?
Dr. Early: You chewed out a paramedic the other day.
Dr. Sunderland: [Sighs.] Oh, that.
Dixie: And he's thinking of quitting. Doctor, he takes care of people in places that would curl your hair. When was the last time you risked your life for a patient? Well, they do it with some regularity. Doctor, you were 10 miles out of line.
Roy: [Looks sternly at Ed, the paramedic trainee.] Now you listen to me. You're not in 'Nam and you're not a doctor, and if you don't get your head squared away, you're not gonna be a paramedic either.
Ed: Is that a threat? Roy: You bet it is.
Ann: I didn't mean any harm.
Dixie: No, of course not... All you've been doing is telling people that Dr. Morton is deeply in debt.
Ann: I didn't say that was a certainty. I said there was a possibility of it.
Dixie: You've discussed it with patients, which is unforgivable. And after I specifically told you it was none of your business. How long have you been a nurse?
Ann: Six years.
Dixie: Then you ought to know that you hear things and see things about doctors, and patients, that are very personal and confidential, and you just don't go around repeating them, because you can do harm. And I'm telling you to cut it out right now.
Ann: I think I can talk about whatever I want.
Dixie: No you can't! Not here. Not while you're working for me. I won't tolerate it. Got it?
Charlie: Well, as long as I'm here, let me take a look at it. Captain Stanley: Oh, I see you guys got some help. Charlie: Hi, Hank.
Johnny: Not really. We fixed it ourselves. Charlie: These two prima donnas here don't believe in calling in a repair. They wanna do my job for me. Roy: It was just a loose connection there. Charlie: Now they're telling me I'm not needed around here.
Johnny: No, Charlie, we're not telling you that at all. Charlie: What's this? What... What IS this? Adhesive tape here? Roy: Well, there was a bare connection there. Charlie: You thought it was gonna bleed to death, so you put a bandage on her, right? Roy: Look, we were at the hospital and we just put it on just to get us back here to the station. Charlie: You got tape?
Johnny: Yeah. [Gives Charlie proper tape.] Charlie: If it wasn't for me, you guys would probably give an IV to the gas line and debrillitate [sic] the battery.
Charlie: I think you guys are playing games with me, and I don't like it. Roy: Now, wait a minute. We're not playing games. We don't play games with the equipment... Captain Stanley: Wait, hold on. C'mon everybody, look we're all on the same side here, aren't we? Charlie: I wonder. Captain Stanley: Charlie, why can't we put the squad in the shop and have us a reserve vehicle here? Charlie: No, no, Hank. Not until I'm 100% sure that I can't fix it. If there's anything wrong with it. This coffee stinks. [Leaves the room.] Captain Stanley: You guys playing some kind of joke on him?
John: We didn't make the coffee! Captain Stanley: Not the coffee, you twit, the squad. Roy: Cap, there's something wrong with that squad out there. Captain Stanley: [sigh.] All right, if you say so... I made the coffee.
Roy: I think you're on some sort of an ego trip, Ed. And in my book that makes you a very dangerous character.
Ed: [Laughs.] Ego trip, huh? Well, I didn't realize that psychiatry was part of the paramedic's training. Roy: Oh that's good, Ed, you be funny. But that isn't gonna change anything. You wanna know what I figure? Well, I figure when you were working in Vietnam, it was rough. So rough you started playing over your head. And you were making it, you were doing real good. Considering it was a combat situation. And pretty soon you started getting all blown up about how Ed Marlowe is just as good as the real doctors. And you've been living on that ever since. And the trouble is, Ed, you are good. Except for two little problems. You can't quit competing with real doctors. And you can't face being wrong. You see, those people we treat out there, I mean the people we work for, the people who pay for this whole operation, they're real people, Ed, with real problems. And they have a right to expect more than just being used by you for some sort of trip. [Completely exasperated.] I guess what I'm trying to say to you, Ed, is that in my book you're just plain unprofessional.
[Ed walks out.]
John: Do you think it did any good? Roy: Do you?
Captain Stanley: How are you and Brice getting along? Roy: Fine. Fine. We're getting along just fine. Captain Stanley: Thought for a while there might be a little personality problem. Roy: No, I can work with just about anybody. I can get along with just about anybody. Captain Stanley: Glad to hear that. Roy: Just might have to bust him in the mouth to do it.
Leonard: What about you, Stuart? You have a girlfriend yet?
Stuart: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I met her at Comic-Con, the one place in the world where saying I own a comic book store is an actual pickup line.
Leonard: All right. Well, let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis? Sheldon: Screwed. Leonard: There ya go.
[Henry, the dog who is never ever off the couch, whimpers.]
Johnny: [Talking to Henry, while typing on the typewriter.] Sorry. Didn't mean to disturb you. Acting kinda uppity aren't you? I may put you in the script. Yeah. A dog that does nothing. [Henry whimpers.] Just sits there. People like that, y'know. A schleppy dog. You'll schlep out on stage and schleep on the couch. Dumb dog! [Henry whimpers.] Making me feel guilty. Why don't you howl or something?
Roy: Well?
Johnny: Well, what? Roy: How do you feel?
Johnny: I don't know. No different I guess. It just hasn't hit me yet. How do you feel? Roy: I don't feel anything special. Not yet anyway.
Johnny: Uh, hey, Roy...listen, I know this may sound silly, but you suppose you can call me Cap? Roy: Okay, Cap. You got any orders for me, Cap? What's happening, Cap? How's that?
Johnny: That's great! Captain Gage. Captain John Gage, Los Angeles County Fire Department. Yeah, well, it's beginning to hit me now.
War Doctor: Anyone lose a fez? Tenth Doctor: You! How can you be here? More to the point, why are you here?
War doctor: Good afternoon. I'm looking for the Doctor. Tenth Doctor: Well, you've certainly come to the right place.
War Doctor: Good. Right. Who are you boys? Oh, of course, are you his companions? Eleventh Doctor: His companions?!
War Doctor: They get younger all the time. Well, if you could point me in the general direction of the Doctor...
[Tenth Doctor raises his sonic, and then Eleventh Doctor raises his.]
War Doctor: Really? Eleventh Doctor: Yeah. Tenth Doctor: Really.
War Doctor: You're me? Both of you? Tenth Doctor: Yup!
War Doctor: [nods disbelief toward the Eleventh Doctor, as he looks at Tenth Doctor.] Even that one? Eleventh Doctor: Yes!
War Doctor: You're my future selves?
Tenth Doctor and Eleventh Doctor: [in unison.] YES!
War Doctor: Am I having a mid-life crisis?
Amanda: And you, Sarek, would you also say thank you to your son?
Sarek: I don't understand.
Amanda: Well, for saving your life.
Sarek: Spock acted in the only logical manner open to him. One does not thank logic, Amanda.
Amanda: Logic, logic - I'm sick to death of logic! Do you want to know how I feel about your logic? Spock: Emotional, isn't she?
Sarek: She has always been that way. Spock: Indeed? Why did you marry her?
Sarek: At the time, it seemed the logical thing to do.
[In sickbay] Spock: Doctor, I think I'll return to my station now. Dr. McCoy: You ARE at your station, Mr. Spock! Capt. Kirk: Dr. McCoy, I believe you're enjoying all this. Spock: Indeed, Captain. I've never seen him look so happy. Dr. McCoy: [To Spock] Shut up!
[Kirk opens his mouth to comment, but McCoy interrupts.] Dr. McCoy: Shh! Shh!
[Dejected, Kirk lies back.] Dr. McCoy: [Grinning] Well, what do you know? I finally got the last word.
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