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Christmas Special 1974 (a.k.a. A Perfect Christmas) - S8-E7

Harold: You're so xenophobic.
Albert: No I'm not, I just don't like foreigners.

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The Likely Lads: A Special Christmas Edition - S3-E1

Bob: I don't even mind Leslie Crowther in a children's ward, I can even take Rolf Harris.
Terry: Good god.

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Whitemonk: From now on Noggett there's only going to be two ways of doing things round here - my way and the wrong way.

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Episode #17.17 - S17-E17

Mrs Monroe: You haven't noticed anything unusual have you Gabriel?
Gabriel: Well no only Mr Hankin.

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The Rev Fowler: I'll remember you all tonight in my prayers, boys.
Dodger: We'll be lucky if he remembers us after the second pint.

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Episode #17.18 - S17-E18

Maria: Do you know what you are, Parrott?
Mr Parrott: Mr Parrott to you.
Maria: A complete prat. The kids know it, the teachers know it, and now it looks like your ex-fiancée has got the message as well.

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Crums - S10-E7

Clegg: Well, personally, I'm looking forward to January the twelfth, and do you want to know why? Because January the twelfth seems such a long way from next Christmas.

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Episode #10.2 - S10-E2

Vince: Where are you going?
Hollo: Nowhere.
Vince: Can I come?
Hollo: If you want to.

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Episode #9.11 - S9-E11

Imelda: I'm gonna get my dad down here to sort you out.
Mr Baxter: You do that, get your whole family down here, I expect they'll be glad to hear you've been nicking money off first year students. You get them all down here, tell them to wear a funny hat and we'll have a party.

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Gary: Has-been.
Max: At least I've been there. You'll never know what it looks like.

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Judge: You are fined £75.
Ace Face: [Takes his cheque book out of his pocket] I'll pay now if you don't mind. Have you got a pen, your honour?

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Tim: Sid what do you know about romance?
Sid: Nothing, I'm married.

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