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Episode #15.1 - S15-E1

Mr Robson: Mr Griffiths, half an hour ago I was a young man; right now I'm looking forward to my pension.

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Sid: Every man should have a wife.
Rosie: Preferably his own.

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The Psychiatrist - S1-E6

Frank: Father O'Hara doesn't like me.
Psychiatrist: Of course he likes you; it's his job to like you.

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Dorothy: Do you think Alan is still a virgin?
Susan: No, he's been in the school orchestra nearly a year now.

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Episode #9.20 - S9-E20

Ronnie: Oi! Ain't you two supposed to be at swimming practice?
Gonch: No.
Ronnie: No reason to hang about here either unless you want to miss the bus.
Calley: Unless you don't want Danny Kendall to see you.
Hollo: Why should that bother us?
Calley: Because he's looking for two more volunteers to help him finish his wall.
Ronnie: He won't grab us, will he?
Calley: No, boys only, so there are some advantages of being a girl.

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Ted: Many women would only be too happy to be married to Charlie.
Peg: So would I, and I'm his wife!

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Ted: Have an accident?
Charlie: No thank you, we've just had some.

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Repurcussions - S6-E14

Mr Baxter: racism, bullying.extortion, I should think that's enough to have you slung out of this school for good six times over.

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Episode #10.18 - S10-E18

Vince: My uncle looks like Frank Bough.
Trev: Who cares, Vince?
Vince: My Auntie.

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Learning to Drive - S2-E8

Betty: Don't get so depressed Frank, you've only been out of work two days. Mr Rogers hasn't worked for six months.
Frank: Mr Rogers is 86 years old!

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The Likely Lads: A Special Christmas Edition - S3-E1

Bob: We spent three days on the tarmac at Luton airport that's why I grew a beard.
Terry: Why?
Bob: There's nothing else to do in Luton. It's not the fun capital of Europe, despite what Eric Morecombe says.

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Learning to Fly - S3-E7

Frank: My father was in the battle of Britain, he was shot down seven times. I wanna be just like him.

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The Party - S7-E8

Albert: We remember the bad old days don't we you and me, yeah, bleeding sight better than they are now.

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Babes in the Wood - S3-E7

Bette: I'm strictly forbidden anything alcoholic - I'll have a scotch.

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The Party - S7-E8

Albert: we've watched him grow up together you and me from that little baby boy to what he is now. A bleeding disappointment.

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What's Santa Brought for Nora Then? - S11-E8

Clegg: Ah it's a terrible time is Christmas, It's easy enough to get into debt the rest of the year but this is the time of year you can get into debt for people you don't even like.

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What's Santa Brought for Nora Then? - S11-E8

Pearl: Oh cheer up for goodness' sake, only one more shopping day to Christmas.
Clegg: I should hope so, the whole thing started in July.

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Merry Christmas, Father Christmas - S9-E14

Clegg: Christmas comes but once a year and still we can't afford it.

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Turkey Dinner - S7-E6

Vicar: Captain Mainwaring, this whole affair is not well organised at all, they all started eating as soon as their plates arrived.
Mainwaring: Of course, otherwise it would go cold.
Vicar: But it's not right, Before I even said for what we are about to receive half of them had already received it.

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Learning to Fly - S3-E7

Frank: I didn't know what a girl was until I was twelve years old.
Betty: You must of done.
Frank: How could I. I'd never seen one.

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