John: He's sex obsessed! The older generation's leading our nation in a state of galloping ruin.
T.V. Director: I won an award.
John: A likely story.
T.V. Director: It's on the wall in my office.
Grandfather: Look, I thought I was supposed to be getting a change of scenery. But so far, I've been in a train and a room, and a car and a room, and a room and a room. Well, maybe that's all right for a bunch of powdered gee-gahs like yourselves, but I'm feeling decidedly strait-jacketed.
Lead makeup woman: What a clean old man.
Grandfather: Ah, don't press your luck.
George: Sorry we hurt your field, mister.
Reporter: How did you find America?
John: Turned left at Greenland.
T.V. Director: You don't know what this means to me. If you hadn't come back it would have meant... the epilogue or the news... in Welsh... for life.
Shake: It's not my fault.
Shake: I'm not taller than you are. You're smaller than I am.
Norm: The place is surging with girls.
John: Please, sir, sir, can I have one to surge me, sir, please, sir?
Norm: No, you can't.
John: Control yourself. You'll spurt.
Reporter: Do you think these haircuts have come to stay?
Ringo: Well, this one has. You know, it's stuck on good and proper now.
Man on train: Don't take that tone with me, young man. I fought the war for your sort.
Ringo: I bet you're sorry you won.
Ringo: Funny, really, 'cause I'd never thought of it, but being middle-aged and old takes up most of your time, doesn't it?
Grandfather: You're only right.
Reporter: Has success changed your life?
Man On Train: I shall call the guard.
Paul: Ah, but what? They don't take kindly to insults, you know. Let's go have some coffee and leave the kennel to Lassie.
John: We know how to behave! We've had lessons.
Norm: Shake, take that wig off! It suits you.