Rudolph: What do you want?
Clarice: You - You promised to walk me home.
Rudolph: Aren't you going to laugh at my nose, too?
Clarice: I think it's a handsome nose. Much better than that silly false one you were wearing.
Rudolph: It's terrible... and it's different from everybody else's.
Clarice: But that's what makes it so grand. Why, any doe would consider herself lucky to be with you.
Rudolph: Yeah? But I wasn't very lucky today, was I?
Bert: Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Uncle Albert: What's the name of his other leg?
James Bond: Do you expect me to talk, Goldfinger?
Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!
General Jack D. Ripper: When they tortured you did you talk?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Ah, oh, no... Well, I don't think they wanted me to talk really. I don't think they wanted me to say anything. It was just their way of having a bit of fun, the swines. Strange thing is they make such bloody good cameras.
Dreyfus: What about the maid?
Clouseau: The maid?
Dreyfus: Was he jealous of her too? He strangled her.
Clouseau: It is possible that his intended victim was a man and that he made a mistake.
Dreyfus: A mistake?.. in a nudist camp?
Clouseau: Nobody's perfect.
Dreyfus: Idiot nincompoop lunatic.
John: He's sex obsessed! The older generation's leading our nation in a state of galloping ruin.
Landlady: ...and what things does she want? Her bird cage and her Chinese fan. But she says, never mind about sending any clothes.
Wyatt Earp: Say, you're the doctor around here. How come I always have to perform all the complicated operations?
Doc Holliday: You know I am a dentist, not a doctor. Wait until somebody shoot him in the teeth.
Prof. Karl Meister: Well, I hadn't seen you for some considerable time, so I thought I'd come see what you're doing.
Paul Heitz: It's a long story.
Prof. Karl Meister: I've come a long way to hear it.
Lucky Jackson: Where you from, Rusty?
Rusty Martin: Dubuque.
Lucky Jackson: Well whaddya know, I've never been there myself, but its interesting that you're from good old Dubuque.
Rusty Martin: Before you get too attached to 'good old Dubuque', we moved there from Chillicothe, Ohio.
Rusty Martin: Chillicothe, Ohio, well, how about that, I've never been there either.
Robert Morgan: Another day... another day to start all over again.
Guy Gisborne: I like what you're sayin', keep talkin'.
Fakrash: Select the design you wish and 3,000 houses will appear before your eyes...an entire city.
Harold Ventimore: You can't put up houses like that!
Fakrash: Oh, yes I can! With one wave of my hand.
Harold Ventimore: Listen, Mr. Fakrash, you don't own this land. And even if you did, you can't build on it without a building permit. Then detailed plans have to be drawn up, then the building Inspectors have to OK them, then they have to approve every step of the work: foundation, plumbing, electrical... Furthermore, all materials must be union made and all work must be done by union labor.
Fakrash: When the Pharaohs put up the pyramids, they had no such problems. In those days...
Harold Ventimore: - These aren't those days, they're these days. There is no room for magic now. Everything must be done legitimately today. (01:10:00)
Julius Caesar: I've cleaned up this city. Have you forgotten my slogan? 'Nihil expectore in omnibus' - no spitting on the public transport.
Mark Rutland: Before I was drafted into Rutland's Miss Taylor, I had notions of being a zoologist. I still try to keep up with my field.
Marnie Edgar: Zoos?
Mark Rutland: Instinctual behavior.
Marnie Edgar: A lady's instinct too?
Livius: A few days longer, Caesar, we'll bring you his head.
Marcus Aurelius: No Livius, please don't bring me his head. I wouldn't know what to do with it.
Lieutenant John Chard: The army doesn't like more than one disaster in a day.
Bromhead: Looks bad in the newspapers and upsets civilians at their breakfast.
Didont: With luck, no one will be hurt.
Labiche: No one's ever hurt. Just dead.
Didont: Paul, uh, have you ever seen any of those paintings on that train? I haven't. You know, when it's over, I think maybe we should take a look, hmm?
