John Laroche: Look, I'll tell you a story, all right? I once feel deeply, you know, profoundly in love with tropical fish. Had 60 goddamn fish tanks in my house. I skin dived to find just the right ones. Anisotremus virginicus, Holdacanthus ciliaris, Chaetodon capistratus. You name it. Then one day I say, "fuck fish." I renounce fish. I vow never to set foot in that ocean again. That's how much "fuck fish."
Charlie Kaufman: The script I'm starting, it's about flowers. Nobody's ever done a movie about flowers before. So, so there are no guidelines.
Donald Kaufman: What about "Flowers for Algernon"?
Charlie Kaufman: Well, that's not about flowers. And it's not a movie.
Donald Kaufman: Ok, I'm sorry, I never saw it.
John Laroche: Then one morning, I woke up and said, "Fuck fish." I renounce fish, I will never set foot in that ocean again. That's how much "fuck fish." That was 17 years ago and I have never stuck so much as a toe in that ocean. And I love the ocean.
Susan Orlean: But why?
John Laroche: Done with fish.
Susan Orlean: Aww, I wish I were an ant. Awww, they're so shiny.
John Laroche: You're shinier than any ant darlin'.
Susan Orlean: That's the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to me.
John Laroche: Welp, I like ya', that's why.
John Laroche: Who's gonna play me?
Susan Orlean: Well, I've gotta write the book first, John. Then, you know, they get somebody to write the screenplay.
John Laroche: Hey, I think I should play me.
Susan Orlean: You FAT piece of shit. He's dead.
Charlie Kaufman: Shut up.
Susan Orlean: You loser. You've ruined my life, you FAT fuck.
Charlie Kaufman: Fuck you lady. You're just a lonely, old, desperate, pathetic drug addict.
Charlie Kaufman: Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
