Susan Orlean: Aww, I wish I were an ant. Awww, they're so shiny.
John Laroche: You're shinier than any ant darlin'.
Susan Orlean: That's the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to me.
John Laroche: Welp, I like ya', that's why.
John Laroche: Who's gonna play me?
Susan Orlean: Well, I've gotta write the book first, John. Then, you know, they get somebody to write the screenplay.
John Laroche: Hey, I think I should play me.
Susan Orlean: You FAT piece of shit. He's dead.
Charlie Kaufman: Shut up.
Susan Orlean: You loser. You've ruined my life, you FAT fuck.
Charlie Kaufman: Fuck you lady. You're just a lonely, old, desperate, pathetic drug addict.
Charlie Kaufman: Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Susan Orlean: I suppose I do have one unembarrassed passion. I want to know what it feels like to care about something passionately.
Donald Kaufman: A little push, push in the bush.
John Laroche: Sometimes bad things happen and darkness descends.
