Prior: Someone want to tell me what the fuck he's talking about?
McKay: He thinks we're being stalked by dead Nazis.
Jordan: Ghosts?
McKay: I didn't get shot by some fucking spectral entity, here. These things are solid.
Hunt: But the one that killed Cotter vanished right in front of us.
McKay: So why don't they swoop down here like God's own wrath and take us out right here and now, then, eh?
Hunt: I don't know. Maybe God's not in on this miracle.
Dr. Godfrey: It's true! Vagina Dentata! Vagina Dentata! Vagina Dentata!
Jonesy: Okay, from now on, you'll be the uptight lesbian sister I never had. Deal?
Mackenzie Carpenter: Lenny couldn't find his ass with both hands.
Aiden: Creeks lead to rivers.
Eve: Good and evil are just imaginary friends.
Miranda Hollander: For their punishment Zeus gave them women.
Turner Claymore: Here at Berm-Tech we offer you a handshake, whether you have hands, hooks, or flippers.
Tammy: Are you okay?
Cherry Darling: I'm just Cherry.
Deputy Billy Kitka: You know, Beau's not so bad. Why'd you bother writing him up?
Sheriff Eben Oleson: He lives all alone out there on the south ridge. A little citation now and then lets him know he's a part of this town.
Pat Garret: Newton, life is like a penis. When it's hard you get screwed. When it's soft you can't beat it.
Carlos Olivera: Just promise me one thing. When you get down there.
Alice: Consider it done.
Guy: I was going to tell you everything eventually.
Maddie McConnell: Are you here for my girl? Are you gonna kill my baby girl?
Katherine Winter: What? No.
Maddie McConnell: Why not?
Katherine Winter: I'm just trying to help her.
Maddie McConnell: She doesn't need help. Can't you see that?
Stump: I'm not gonna let you bastards get me. Not me, not today. That is not gonna happen.
Jamie Ashen: Remember: whatever happens, don't scream.
Linda Hanson: Something is seriously fucked up.