Neville: Nothin' happened the way it was supposed to happen.
Amanda Dunfrey: I just want you to know that it's okay... being scared. And, well, if you need a friend, someone to talk too.
Mrs. Carmody: I have a friend. God, up above. I talk to him everyday. Don't you condescend me.
Amanda Dunfrey: I'm sorry?
Mrs. Carmody: Not ever. You don't mock me.
Amanda Dunfrey: That's not what I was doing.
Mrs. Carmody: I'll tell you what. The day I need a friend like you, I'll just have myself a little squat and shit one out.
John: How long you been fucking her?
[Jim looks awkward.]
John: It's a simple question.
[Jim looks down and sees John's wedding ring.]
Jim: How long you been fucking your wife?
John: I don't have one.
Jim: then why are you wearing a ring?
John: It makes people think I'm trustworthy.
Jim: Aren't you?
John: No.
Thomas: How could you kill a poor, defenseless animal? Angela! You're really starting to piss me off.
Stuart: Isn't it bad luck to toast with water?
Todd: Yeah. Bad luck for whoever meets us today.
Dr. Samuel Loomis: I really don't know what else to say, Michael. You haven't said a word for fifteen years! Christ, that's a lifetime. That's nearly twice as long as my first marriage. Wow. It's strange, Michael. In a weird way you've become like... like my best friend. Huh! That just shows you how fucked up my life is. I've done all I possibly can for you, so I'm sorry to tell you that this is going to be my last day. Michael, I have to move on. I'm sorry.
Bruce Campbell: You don't know fear, kid. You've never worked with Sam Raimi.
Aurora: Seeing is not believing. It's the other way around. Believe, and you will see.
Steven Johnson: You know what? This crocodile's like O.J. Simpson. He messed up when he killed that white woman.
Katie: Daddy.
Mike Enslin: No, you're not real.
Katie: I'm cold.
Mike Enslin: No, you're not Katie.
Katie: I love you Daddy. Don't you love me anymore?
Mike Enslin: Of course I do, sweetheart.
Dallas: GET to THE chopper .
Max Keller: WAX lips? I love wax lips! I have to have wax lips.
Ed: Do you wanna see what the other side of the camera looks like...?
Billy: Let's carve a scary face this time.
Wray: So what are you going to do now?
Cherry: I'm going to be a stand-up comedian.
Wray: You're not funny.
Cherry: That's what I keep trying to tell everybody but they all say I'm hilarious.
Wray: But you're not.
Cherry: There's a difference between being frank... and being dick.
Miranda Hollander: For their punishment Zeus gave them women.
Maddie McConnell: Are you here for my girl? Are you gonna kill my baby girl?
Katherine Winter: What? No.
Maddie McConnell: Why not?
Katherine Winter: I'm just trying to help her.
Maddie McConnell: She doesn't need help. Can't you see that?