Best TV quotes of 2000

Pilot - S1-E1

Rory: You look happy.
Lorelai: I am, kid.
Rory: Did you do something slutty?
Lorelai: I'm not that happy.

Lucky Strike - S3-E16

Nick Stokes: There's a sucker born every minute.
Gil Grissom: Yep, and they all come to Vegas.

Col. Nick Fury: I can't let her go.
Wolverine: You can... and you will.

Larry David: The whole cashew-raisin balance is askew.

Ben: Nothing went wrong with me! I'm doing what I was made to do, what we were taught to do.
Max Guevara: Hunt people down to perform amateur dental surgery? I must've missed that class.

Det. Supt. Peter Boyd: You can make the right decision or the wrong decision. The right decision is to put down the weapon and give yourself up. The wrong decision is to shoot me and I sincerely hope you don't do that.

Michael: You have anything to say?
Brian Kinney: No.
Michael: Well I do. You can fuck him at your place, you can fuck him in his gym class, you can fuck him at the zoo - but you can not fuck him in my mother's house! In my room.

Tish: Lor, don't you think you're being a tad paranoid?
Carver: A tad? More like 5 tads and 18 smidgens.

Patrick: Sometimes a man must choose between the right way and the wrong way... and misses by one.

Trance Gemini: And they even have a guild devoted entirely to the art of abdomen dancing.
Dylan Hunt: Trance, that's Iridano sign language, and I think you just made a rather naughty suggestion to Harper.
Trance Gemini: Oh, well, fair is fair. Harper made a rather naughty suggestion to nearly half the women there at the reception. Without success, I might add.

Fenella: Eustace has... dust allergies. Poor lamb. He must be having trouble... breathing.

Christopher Titus: There's one in every family. When the police calls in the middle of the night and says "We've got a family members of yours under arrest" and you know directly who it is. In my family we have seven of those... And they are all my Mom.

Baron Harkonnen: And so it begins. The trap is set. The prey approaches. A glorious winter is about to descend on House Atreides and all its heirs, and very soon, the years of humiliation visited upon my family will finally be avenged.

Carl: If you need anything, you know who to look to. Someone else.

Bernard: I can feel pieces of my brain falling away like a wet cake.

Miroku: So she has left us once again. Inuyasha, Kagome was not acting her usual self. Exactly what happened between you and Kikyo?
Inuyasha: Same thing that goes on when you're with a woman.
Miroku: Ah! Ghastly! You mean you did that right in front of Kagome?
Inuyasha: Maybe we need to have a talk about what it is you do with women.

Opening theme song: Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question? You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big. You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big. Life is unfair.

Louis Stevens: I am making a quality cucumber shake here.
Ren Stevens: Not on my time.

Buzz: There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.

Darien Fawkes: By the way, I want my tombstone to say, "Too late, he's already dead." You know, just in case more people show up wanting to screw my life over.