Coupling (2000)

Jeff: Maybe women are completely different when we're not with them. Maybe they're not cross all the time.

Jeff: There's a supermodel who shags total prats and I don't know where she lives.

Jane: Friendship's more lasting than love, and more legal than stalking.

Jeff: I love the word naked, it's brilliant isn't it, 'naked'. When I was a kid I used to write the word naked on a bit of paper hundreds of times and rub my face in it.

Patrick: If I don't like a woman, if there's no chemistry, if I'm not attracted to her, then I don't lead her on. I just get out of there.
Sally: Really?
Patrick: Everytime, before she even wakes up.
Sally: So you do have sex with them, then?
Patrick: Well, there's no need to be cruel, is there?

Jeff: She thinks I'm a mute with a balance problem.

Jane: Do they really call me the one with the breasts?
Susan: Yes.
Jane: Then what do they call you?
Susan: Susan.

Steve: This is not, I repeat, not an American sitcom.

Patrick: Sometimes a man must choose between the right way and the wrong way... and misses by one.

Jane: I really quite like being single. Except for the bit about not having a man.

Jeff: When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name.

Sally: I hate having sex at home. I've got a listening flatmate.
Jane: Oh no, I hate those. Do you have to be really quiet for her?
Sally: No, I have to be really loud. We're very competitive.

Jane: He works in pizza delivery, which just answers all your prayers, doesn't it? Man, motorbike, has own food.