Ricky Roma: You stupid fucking cunt. You, Williamson, I'm talking to you, shithead. You just cost me $6,000. Six thousand dollars, and one Cadillac. That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it, asshole? You're fucking shit. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt, you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with men? Oh, I'm gonna have your job, shithead.
Officer Pete Davis: Arrest you? I could kill you.
Ben: If you kill a whale, you get Greenpeace and Jacques Cousteau on your back, but wipe out sardines and you get a canning subsidy.
Fergus: Have you ever tried to pick up your teeth with broken fingers?
Shannon Christie: Pretend you love me.
Joseph Donnelly: I pretend I love you.
Shannon Christie: I pretend I love you, too.
Professor Nikolias: Do you know how many children die every year from choking on french fries? Many more than from Adrenoleukodistrophy. You see, ours is what is known as an orphan disease, too small to be noticed, too small to be funded, especially with the iron hand of "Reganomics."
Hampton Pig: Speak to me, Plucky.
Plucky Duck: Auntie Em, is that you?
The Lieutenant: Get with the program.
Anton: Man and woman together make flower. Douglas, you are stem. Katya, you are petal. Together, we make flower.
Jimmy Hoffa: I'm gonna give ya a piece of advice. Don't ask for something if it's a burden to ya if ya get it.
Veronica: Oh man, I'd kill for a cigarette right now.
Luc: You'd kill someone for a cigarette?
Veronica: No. It's an expression, a figure of speech. I wouldn't exactly kill someone for a cigarette. I'd hurt them real bad at this point, but I won't kill 'em.
Peter Hoskins: What goes into one, Rita? A Long Island Iced Tea?
Rita Boyle: I'm sorry darling, I've forgotten.
Peter Hoskins: What, do you have it all written down behind the bar or something?
Rita Boyle: I'm on vacation.
Peter Hoskins: So you can't remember a drink recipe for something that I would like to order?
Rita Boyle: Peter, you're doing it again. You take a perfect situation and you pee all over it.
David Green: I'll honor your tradition. I'll go to the Headmaster and I'll lie.
George: Guys like us that work on ranches are the loneliest guys in the world. They ain't got no family and they don't belong no place. They got nothin' to look ahead to.
Lennie: But not us George. Tell about us.
George: ...well, we ain't like that. We got a future. We got somebody to talk to that gives a damn about us. If them other guys gets in jail they can rot for all anybody cares.
Lennie: But not us, George, because I... see, I got you to look after me, but you got me to look after you.
Carol: Do you have any Equal?
Peter: I'm sorry, I'm famous for having no equal.
Cesar Castillo: In the name of the Mambo, the Rumba, and the Cha cha cha.
May-Alice Culhane: Did they tell you I was a bitch?
Chantelle: On wheels.
Jack Kelson: Keep my name outta your mouth.
Gabe: Change equals death.
Judy: What kind of bullshit? That's just a bullshit line! Maybe you fool your twenty-year-old students into thinking that's some kind of a, an insight or something, but it means nothing! Change is what life is made of! Change - if you don't change, you don't grow, you just shrivel up.
Sidney Deane: Can anybody step in for this guy? Anybody? For Mr. Motherfucking March of Dimes?