Violet Kray: I don't think it's possible to love someone too much but I think you can love them in the wrong way.
Judy: Come on, I wanna know how you two met.
Nora: I picked him up in a bar. How's that?
Max: I was drunk, and she was drunk, and I liked her looks so I convinced her to let me bring her home, and I seduced her on the sofa bed, and it was magic, and I keep coming back for more.
Barbara Sabich: You're still in love with her.
Rusty Sabich: It was never love.
Barbara Sabich: Then what was it?
Rusty Sabich: It was never love.
Jackie Flannery: They don't even want to call it "Hell's Kitchen" no more. Renamed it "Clinton." Sounds like a fucking steamboat.
Screwface: Everybody want go heaven. Nobody want dead. Afraid.
Sunny von Bülow: I'm thinking of redecorating this whole fucking house.
Richard Rascal Moore: Uh, we ain't going to Krautville. Our plane's broke.
Eugene McVey: No, it's fixed.
Richard Rascal Moore: Christ, let's go break it.
Mason Storm: So, how come you're not watching the Oscars tonight?
Counterman: The Oscars?
Mason Storm: Yeah, the Oscars.
Counterman: I hate the Oscars.
Mason Storm: You're not having a good time, huh?
Counterman: I mean, who needs the goddamn movies anyway? I got a show in here every single night.
Mason Storm: Yeah?
Counterman: You've got horror, sex, freaks, violence. I don't got to pay no four bucks either.
Reggie Hammond: Let me tell you something, Jack. If shit was worth something, poor people would be born with no asshole.
The Player: Are you familiar with this play?
Guildenstern: No.
The Player: A slaughterhouse! Eight corpses all totaled.
Guildenstern: Six!
The Player: Eight.
[Two actors act out being hanged, foreshadowing Rosencrantz and Guildenstern's demise.]
Guildenstern: What are they?
The Player: They're dead. (01:11:11)
Bobby Duran: How many times have you lost everything Jack?
Doris: I have some news.
Suzanne: What? You had a dream I lost some weight? Endorsed a line of clothing?
Doris: Don't be fresh, dear.
Frank Sutton: So you're a tough guy, huh?
Harry Madox: No, you're the tough guy. I'm worse.
Fargo: Hell, most Soviet bombers are so old they still use propellers. The Minnesota Air National Guard could probably knock them down.
Harpoon: Well, do you want to get on the phone and order them into the air, Colonel, because every transistor in Minnesota is burned OUT.
Amy Wallace: You know all your friends from the force? You don't have them anymore.
Jane Clark: What are you reading?
Nick Smith: The story of Babar... I'd forgotten how beautiful it was.
Mike Medwicki: Maybe if you could... you could try and find your mom?
Amanda Sue Bradley: My mom? She threw me away. She threw me away.
Strom: What made you think that a dumb Polack like you could outsmart someone like me?
Nick Pulovski: Well, it's just that the arrogant fuckin' Kraut like you was in the firing line.
Brontë Mitchell Faure: We don't have to like each other. We just have to get married.
Susie Waggoner: ...And you save your money... and buy a nice little house, with a white picket fence, and live happily ever after.
Frederick J. Frenger Jr.: Tell you what. Let's go straight to the "happily ever after" part, OK?