Mark Thackeray: Marriage is not for the weak, the selfish, the insecure.
Col. Everett Dasher Breed: Reisman! Some people may consider you a first-class officer. But as far as I'm concerned, you're a disorganized, undisciplined clown. I'm gonna' make it my business to run you out of this Army.
Major John Reisman: I owe you an apology, colonel. I always thought that you were a cold, unimaginative, tight-lipped officer. But you're really quite emotional, aren't you?
Chief Gillespie: What do they call you up there?
Virgil Tibbs: They call me MISTER Tibbs!
Trevor Graydon: Swell! Just swell.
King Arthur: I can't quite remember all that Merlyn taught me, but I do remember this. That happiness is a virtue. No one can be happy and wicked. Triumphant, perhaps, but not happy.
Captain: What we've got here is failure to communicate.
George Spiggott: In the words of Marcel Proust - and this applies to any woman in the world: If you can stay up and listen with a fair degree of attention to whatever garbage, no matter how stupid it is, that they're coming out with, 'til ten minutes past four in the morning... you're in.
Mowgli: Oh, Baloo, I wanna stay with you.
Baloo: Certainly, you do.
Bagheera: Oh? And just how do you think he will survive?
Baloo: "How do you think he will... " What do you mean how do you think he... He's with me, ain't he? And I'll learn him all I know.
Bagheera: Oh? That shouldn't take too long.
Paul Bratter: You don't just dive into a black salad. You have to play with it first.
Bacillus Box: ...Handle these capsules with care. Dr. Noah's bacillus is highly contagious. This germ, when distributed in the atmosphere will make all women beautiful and destroy all men over 4'6." Please handle these capsules with care.
Mike Talman: Damn it, you act as if you're in kindergarten! This is the big bad world, full of mean people, where nasty things happen.
Susy Hendrix: Now you tell me.
Will Penny: That's always the way, ain't it?
Alex: What's always the way?
Will Penny: Let a man die, right away he's "good, old Claude." How was he before he bucked out?
Scott Heyward: You know something, Pa? I would have traded everything you've ever given me for one thing - for trust in me.
Duster Heyward: Well, what are you talkin', son? I've always trusted ya. I was just tryin' to make things easy is all.
Scott Heyward: That's just it, Pa. I don't want things easy. I want to be able to make my own mistakes and work 'em out.
Helen Lawson: I'll go out - the way I came in.
Dr. Charles Goodfellow: I can't understand why I never win.
Dr. John 'Doc' Holliday: You don't play very well. Besides that, you never cheat.
Lomax: You got a bargain, Big Man.
Taw Jackson: How's that?
Lomax: Two five-hundred dollar days for the price of one.
Buck Henry: Are you here for an affair, sir?
Dr. Dolittle: I do not understand the human race/Has so little love for creatures with a different face./Treating animals like people is no madness or disgrace./I do not understand the human race.
Brewster: Look at that hillside. Nobody does any watering or anything.
Clyde Barrow: This here's Miss Bonnie Parker. I'm Clyde Barrow. We rob banks.