Sergeant Clyde Bowren: Everybody's slipping on soap around here.
Col. Everett Dasher Breed: Reisman! Some people may consider you a first-class officer. But as far as I'm concerned, you're a disorganized, undisciplined clown. I'm gonna' make it my business to run you out of this Army.
Major John Reisman: I owe you an apology, colonel. I always thought that you were a cold, unimaginative, tight-lipped officer. But you're really quite emotional, aren't you?
Samson Posey: I don't want to hurt you Major.
Major John Reisman: You're not gonna hurt me, I'm gonna hurt you.
Gen. Denton: Major Reisman is heading toward a court martial of his own. He's the most ill-mannered, ill-disciplined officer that it's ever been my displeasure to meet.
Maj. Gen. Worden: You think so, Denton? You may be right. But he's sure right about one thing. Somebody up there must be a raving lunatic.
Samson Posey: I reckon the folks'd be a sight happier if I died like a soldier. Can't say I would.
Major John Reisman: And where is Donald Duck?
Samson Posey: Donald Duck's down at the crossroads with a machine gun.
Major John Reisman: He'd better not be asleep or we all be in trouble, huh.