George Spiggott: Good evening. I couldn't help noticing that you were making an unsuccessful suicide bid.
George Spiggott: You fill me with inertia.
George Spiggott: In the words of Marcel Proust - and this applies to any woman in the world: If you can stay up and listen with a fair degree of attention to whatever garbage, no matter how stupid it is, that they're coming out with, 'til ten minutes past four in the morning... you're in.
Stanley Moon: Well, I suppose Lust and Gluttony really have to be rather near the bathroom.
George Spiggott: There was a time when I used to get lots of ideas... I thought up the Seven Deadly Sins in one afternoon. The only thing I've come up with recently is advertising.
George Spiggott: Very well, Mister Moon! In order to prove that I am indeed the Unholy One, a Frobisher and Gleason raspberry-flavored ice lolly shall be yours - in a trice.
George Spiggott: You're not wearing nylon underwear, are you? It disintegrates at high speeds.
George Spiggott: I'm the Horned One. The Devil. Let me give you my card.
George Spiggott: This is the club room. Quite nicely decorated and painted - early Hitler.
George Spiggott: What terrible sins I have working for me. I suppose it's the wages.
George Spiggott: Don't let me interfere with your doing away with yourself.
Stanley Moon: You're a nutcase! You're a bleedin' nutcase.
George Spiggott: They said the same of Jesus Christ, Freud, and Galileo.
Stanley Moon: They said it of a lot of nutcases too.
George Spiggott: You're not as stupid as you look, are you, Mr. Moon?
George Spiggott: Most of the saints throughout history have been a pain in the neck.
Insp. Reg Clarke: Can you remember your exact last words to him?
Margaret Spencer: I think it was "Wimpy Burgers twice, 1 MR, 1 well, heavy on the onions."
Stanley Moon: You painted a beautiful dream and shoved me into a nightmare.
George Spiggott: Job was what you'd technically describe as a loony.
George Spiggott: The garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just south of Croydon. You can see it over there.
George Spiggott: We've been hit very badly by this peace scare.
George Spiggott: Just putting a tiny little ventilation hole in this oil tanker.
George Spiggott: You realise that suicide's a criminal offense. In less enlightened times they'd have hung you for it.
Answer: It's a joke because the souls already belong to God. It's mentioned during the jail scene. So the question is irrelevant, as God already has well over 100 billion souls in any case, and the devil can't gain them back.
There is no jail scene in this movie. You're probably thinking of the remake.