Jennifer North: The sanitarium was very expensive.
Helen Lawson: I'll go out - the way I came in.
Helen Lawson: The only hit that comes out of a Helen Lawson show is Helen Lawson, and that's ME, baby, remember?
Neely O'Hara: I didn't have dough handed to me because of my good cheekbones, I had to work for it.
Jennifer North: Anne, honey, let's face it. All I know how to do is take off my clothes.
Neely O'Hara: I want a doll! I want a doll.
Anne Welles: Neely, you know it's bad to take liquor with those pills.
Neely O'Hara: They work faster.
Mel: Honey, listen, it's a rotten business.
Neely O'Hara: I know. But I love it.
Neely O'Hara: Just one... and two more. My beautiful little dolls.
Miriam Polar: Tony, how many times do I have to tell you? At night, all cats are gray.
Miss Steinberg: Mr. Bellamy, this is Miss Welles. She's here about the job.
Henry Bellamy: She's too good looking.
Henry Bellamy: I don't want to hear another word about quitting.
Lyon Burke: The going get's rough, they all talk about retirement.
Helen Lawson: Not me. I've had it rough before. I'm a barracuda.
Neely O'Hara: Mel? God? Neely?.. neeeeeeelyyy O'HARAAAAAAAA.
Neely O'Hara: Well, I've lost five pounds already. These pills are really great, Jen. They kill your appetite. Only trouble is they pep me up so much I can't sleep.
Mel: You're spending a lot more time than necessary with that fag.
Neely O'Hara: Ted Casablanca is not a fag... and I'm the dame who can prove it.
Neely O'Hara: Boobies, boobies, boobies. Nothin' but boobies! Who needs 'em? I did great without 'em.
Ted Casablanca: You've got your new deal, and I've got my sanity back.
Neely O'Hara: With that little whore?
Ted Casablanca: That little whore makes me feel nine feet tall.
