Tracy Jordan: I am a Jedi! I am a Jedi! I am a Jedi.
Jack: Factories provide three things this country desperately needs: jobs, pride, and material for Bruce Springsteen songs.
Jack: I'm not a creative type like you, with your work sneakers and left-handedness.
Kenneth Parcell: It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain.
Tracy Jordan: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.
Liz Lemon: Shut it down, dealbreaker.
Tracy Jordan: I learned fried chicken at the school of hard knocks.
Dr. Leo Spaceman: If you want the shot... you're going to have to dance for it.
Tracy Jordan: Here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age. Live every week like it's Shark Week.
Jack: Look how Greenzo's testing! They love him in every demographic: colored people, broads, fairies, commies. Gosh, we gotta update these forms.
Angie Jordan: My single "My Single is Dropping" is dropping.
Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits: "America's Next Top Pirate", "Are You Stronger Than a Dog?", "milf Island "
Liz Lemon: "milf Island"?
Jack: Twenty-five super-hot moms, 50 eighth-grade boys, no rules.
Liz Lemon: Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring milf.
Liz Lemon: Hey, nerds! Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
Kenneth Parcell: Science was my most favorite subject, especially the Old Testament.
Dr. Leo Spaceman: Erectile dysfunction: it's not just a dog problem anymore.