Archie Bunker: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you are one dumb Polack.
Archie: Your honor, may I encroach the bench?
Archie Bunker: You gotta grab the bull by the corns.
Mike Stivic: You know, you are totally incomprehensible.
Archie Bunker: Maybe so, but I make a lot of sense.
Mike Stivic: Archie, if there is a God, how come there's so much unhappiness in the world?
Archie Bunker: If there is a God how come there's so much unhappiness in the world? Uh... uh... hey, Edith... If there is a God, how come there's so much unhappiness in the world?
Edith: Why don't you go out and finish dinner.
Mike Stivic: Nah, I ain't hungry.
Edith: Ya can't depend on nothing no more.
Mike Stivic: In today's society, people throw things out because they don't work.
Archie Bunker: Well you don't work, maybe we should throw you out.
George Jefferson: If he's gonna have the last laugh, I'm gonna have it first.
Edith Bunker: Mike is family.
Archie Bunker: Gloria is family. What's standing behind me is an accident of marriage.
Mike Stivic: You eat my heart out. Little by little, bit by bit, you eat my heart out.
Archie Bunker: I don't care.
Archie Bunker: I got bigger fish to fly.
Mike Stivic: I just thank God I'm an atheist.
Archie: Free treatment for VD. VD. Do you know what that means, Edith?
Edith: Oh, yeah. V-D day.
Edith Bunker: I'm home. I'm home, Archie.
Archie Bunker: Are you sure?
Gloria: Oh, Daddy. You'd put ketchup on a doughnut.
Archie Bunker: If it needed it.
Mike Stivic: What were you saying about colored families having no love?
Archie Bunker: Why is it you can remember everything except how to work?
Archie: You go off and leave me here with nobody home.
Edith: Mike was here.
Archie: Like I said, nobody was home.
Archie Bunker: We was like two ships that clashed in the night.
Archie Bunker: I tell ya, Edith, when a plumber's business goes into the toilet you're sitting pretty.
Edith Bunker: What are you fighting about?
Mike Stivic: The Star-Spangled Banner.
Edith Bunker: Did the singer forget the words again?
Answer: Yes, Gloria and Michael have friends, but when they got married they decided it was best to live *rent free* with Edith and Archie, while Mike was going to college. Living with friends rent free, for quite a few years, is not an easy thing no matter how close the friends are with them. Since the Stivics needed their money to pay for the tuition and its other costs, their living arrangement made it all easier to deal with. Hence the Archie and Mike scenarios.
Super Grover ★