Gloria: Do you know that sixty percent of all deaths in America are caused by guns?
Archie Bunker: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?
Mike Stivic: Archie, if there is a God, how come there's so much unhappiness in the world?
Archie Bunker: If there is a God how come there's so much unhappiness in the world? Uh... uh... hey, Edith... If there is a God, how come there's so much unhappiness in the world?
Archie Bunker: She ain't gonna saying nothing more because the smoke has given her an attack of, what do you call, laryngosis.
Mike Stivic: In today's society, people throw things out because they don't work.
Archie Bunker: Well you don't work, maybe we should throw you out.
Mike Stivic: What were you saying about colored families having no love?
Archie Bunker: Why is it you can remember everything except how to work?
Archie Bunker: What she done was wrong and she gotta be punished. For the next two weeks, no out after school. No out at all. If you find yourself having fun at something, stop it. And no delicious foods for three weeks. You only gotta eat the terrible foods that are good for you. And then no TV for a week. And the next week, and this is gonna be tougher: educational TV only.