Filburt: You turn the page, wash your hands. Turn the page, wash your hands. Turn the page, wash your hands.
Gladys the Big Hippo Lady: How dare you.
Really Really Big Man: You monsters are all alike. You march in here like you own the place and start redecorating.
Heffer: If you were a true friend, you'd burn my butt. C'mon, brand me, brand me, brand me.
Filburt: I'm nauseous! I'm nauseous! I'm nauseous.
Heffer: Hey, Rocko. Which is funnier, bananas or cheese?
Rocko: Cheese, Hef. Definitely cheese.
Heffer: Through the use of sophisticated computer technology, and a box of crayons, we have constructed a likeness of Dingo today.
Eagle: A wallaby in a boat waving a fish... That's odd - yet strangely appetizing.
Rocko: Don't worry, Heff, we can still have a nice Thanksgiving. I bought us a nice big vegetarian turkey. It'll be delicious.
Heffer: No, it's not the same.
Rocko: If this marriage is going to break up our friendship, I'd rather be deported.
Rocko: Excuse me, sir. But garbage and dogs are not part of a balanced diet.
Filburt: You turn the page, wash your hands.
French Guy: Ahhh, this is no problem. She's at the Eiffel Tower.
Rocko: Really?
French Guy: Sure! All cheesy love stories end there.
Heffer: Hey Rock! Do that goofy face you do when you're buying eggs.
Crappy Jack the Sailor: I turned leeward in time to witness the full sail yardarm give way and came crashing down on my midshipman's hind quarters. He let out a scream that could be heard all the way down in Davy Jones' locker. Micky Dolenz's locker too, and Peter Tork's locker. All the Monkees had lockers.
Really Really Big Man: Look into my nipples of the future.
Heffer: I'm starving. What's the biggest thing on the menu?
Cashier: That would be our Knockwurst Nightmare Platter, 570 pounds of ground pig parts packed tightly but tantalizingly into over two miles of intestinal tubing. No-one has ever finished the Nightmare Platter.
Heffer: I'll take two.
Cashier: There aren't enough pigs in the country, sir.
Filburt's son: Why do we wear these things on our shoulders?
Filburt: Because... it's the future! Thank you for stopping by.
Rocko: Hef, where did you get a motorcycle?
Heffer: I saved my snack money for a whole week.
