Lucy: Today, I am not your daughter, your sister or your wife, I am Lucy Kinkirk. The Reverend Lucy Kinkirk.
Eric: There's always going to be somebody who'll try to take your dignity and self-esteem. Just never let them take your voice.
Eric: You know in some ways your mother hasn't changed since the day I married her over twenty years ago.
Matt: And in other ways?
Eric: She's mean. Really, really mean.
Annie: Ginger... somebody. What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know? How many "Ginger"s do you have there? Is there a "Ginger" convention in town or something?
Martin: Maybe someday I'll marry a girl with a lot of brothers and sisters.
Ruthie: Yeah, maybe you will.
Annie: You may be weird, but at least you'll all be my honest little weirdos.
Mary: Cheese covers a myriad of sins.
Lucy: If you ever want to make detective, you have to be a whole lot nosier.
Chandler Hampton: Female logic is fascinating.
Lucy Camden: I had no idea this was your life.
Mike Pierce: My life's just fine and you know why? I'm alive... and I'm grateful for every second of every day.
Ruthie: Do you have to have special clothes to feel special? I just put on a clean pair of underwear and I feel great.
Gladys Bink: They're all nuts.
Rev. Camden: You know what the scariest thing in my life is?
Simon: Those bowling shoes?
Simon: We're all just pawns being manipulated by the corruption of politics and big business anyway. Knowing about our health and environment, we just make bigger gas guzzling SUV's, package the... the food in plastic which leaches poisons into our bodies, sell arms to other countries, then declare war on them because they use them, and make paper towels and tissue? That'll only promote waste.
Simon: I guess my inner voice was telling me... you're going to hell anyway for killing that guy... so I might as well have sex.
Annie: I need to talk to you in the living room.
Sam: You're in trouble. Tell her you're sorry and you'll never do it again.
Eric: I don't think that will work for me.
David: Tell her Happy did it.
Eric: I don't think that will work for me either.
Eric: Well, the wind is real, but you can't see the wind. You know, you can only see the leaves rustling in the trees. Pain is real but you can't see pain. You can only see tears. Happiness is real, but you can't see happiness. You can only see the smile on someone's face.
Lucy Camden: I swear, you guys gossip more than old ladies.
Eric: If you'll excuse me, I have to put my head through a wall.
Simon: How ya doing, kid?
Lucy: Get out of my face.
Simon: You're okay.
