Entourage (2004)

Vince: Johnny Depp's got the kind of career I want.
Eric: Johhny Depp did "Pirates of the Caribbean." And if I'm not mistaken, he wore a swashbuckling costume and carried a sword.
Turtle: Yeah, but he already dresses like that in real life, though.

Ari Gold: The next one after "Queens Boulevard" is a studio picture: I'm talking franchise, baby. We'll get you the lunchbox. And an action figure with a monster cock.
Vincent Chase: It's definitely tempting.
Ari Gold: I love you.

Ari Gold: Call me Helen Keller because I'm a fucking miracle worker.

Ari Gold: We are gonna get drunk with Russell Crowe and we're gonna head-butt some goddamn kangaroos.

Ari Gold: From now on, ask my permission before you bang one of my assistants.
Eric: How'd you know that?
Ari Gold: 'Cause I know all, and I could have told you that this would end badly. Now I gotta fire her so you don't feel weird.
Eric: No. Don't fire her.
Ari Gold: All right. Well, I'll just sexually harass her until she quits.

Ari Gold: Got Milf?

Turtle: Fucking art, man. Fuck fucking art.

Turtle: Jesus Christ, Ari Gold. You just got demoted to Silver.

Ari's Wife: What's in the bag?
Ari Gold: A kilo of blow. What's with all the fucking questions?

Lloyd: Are you hiding something from me, Ari?
Ari Gold: Only my cock and my asshole, Lloyd.

Turtle: Who the fuck wants a hand job?

Ari Gold: Smoke more weed, Turtle. Seriously, smoke more weed.

Eric: We gotta get Cameron to see "Queens Boulevard."
Ari Gold: You haven't even seen it yet.
Eric: I saw the scenes that Vince looped today. They looked amazing.
Ari Gold: Great. So you want me to get the biggest director in the game to see some low-budget indie flick that you think is amazing based on some out-of-context scenes from a looping stage.

Turtle: I thought he quit?
Johnny Drama: Cigarettes, not pussy.

Johnny Drama: North of Ventura Boulevard is hell's waiting room.

Ari Gold: Tell Drama he's on my to-do list right after inserting needles in my cock.

Johnny Drama: I've been working steady for the past twelve years, minus the last three.

Ari Gold: What the fuck are you wearing?
Lloyd: I'm trying out new looks! This one's my Andre 3000. You like?
Ari Gold: No, I don't. You look like Michelle Kwan in drag. Why don't you do a triple fucking axle over the phone and try calling Cameron again?

Johnny Drama: If you play gay or retarded you get an Oscar. I'd take in the ass for an Oscar.
Turtle: You'd take in the ass for a guest spot on The Hughleys.

Jake Steinberg: Hi Mr. Gold, I'm Jake Steinberg. HR sent me up to replace your last assistant.
Ari Gold: I don't care. Get me Eddie Kapowski on the phone.
Jake Steinberg: Any relation to Kelly Kapowski? You know, "Saved by the Bell"?
Ari Gold: You're finished. Go. You're fucking fired.