Sabrina, the Teenage Witch (1996)

Salem: Hello, this is your guard speaking. Harvey is at the front door, and send me a sandwich.

Zelda: So that's your plan?
Vesta: Please, I don't plan! I scheme.

Zelda: Welcome home, sunshine! How was your day?
Sabrina: Here's a quick recap: There was boredom followed by dullness with a dash of echh.

Hilda: I just haven't turned myself into wind in years.
Salem: Would cabbage help?

Salem: Let's destroy everything that's dear to him. Let's indoctrinate him into the cathedral of agony.
Zelda: I'm gonna write him a very stern letter.
Salem: You're a regular Mad Max aren't ya?

Harvey Kinkle: A penny saved is a penny earned.
Salem: Don't eat the yellow snow.

Zelda: Sabrina, you're not a rumpist, are you?
Sabrina: A rumpist? What's a rumpist?
Zelda: Someone who judges others by their rear ends.
Sabrina: No. OK, not usually.

Zelda: What's the matter?
Sabrina: What's the matter? I have to be a witch, I have to be a mortal, I have to be a teenager and I have to be a girl all at the same time. That's what's the matter.
Salem: At least you still have your thumbs... and a door on your bathroom.

Hilda: A cat is doing an imitation of me kissing my niece's vice-principal. So this is my lowest point.

Sabrina: It can take years to develop a craft. Look at my aunts Hilda and Zelda.
Josh: Which craft were they involved in? Which craft were they involved in?
Sabrina: Witchcraft? Who said anything about witchcraft?

Valerie: Gordy, are you even aware that there's a dance on Friday?
Salem: I'll pick you up at 8. What kind of flowers do you like?
Valerie: Surprise me.
Salem: That means roses.

Sabrina: Having magic and being a witch is great and all, but I can't live without seeing my mother.

Hilda: What's my bra doing on the roof?
Salem: Erm, the squirrels needed a nutfeeder.