George: I don't know exactly what makes people cross over. I mean, souls. I think they see light where others cannot. I think they see a chance to become something else. Someone else.
George: Death is kind of like sex in high school. If you knew how many times you missed having it, you'd be paralyzed.
Mason: Rube is so old, he probably reaped Jesus.
George: I don't want to fit in, I just don't want to stand out.
Rube: What you're feeling right now -all the rage and frustration binding everything from your head to your digestive tract - that's my life with you.
Dolores Herbig: Who has been making grilled cheese sandwiches with the defibrillator paddles?
Mason: I'm so smart i'm practically retarded.
George: That's very Zen of you, you must smoke pot.
George: Life sucks, and then you die. And then it still sucks.
George: I can't believe I just said "dilly dally." I feel dirty.
George: If I had to choose between being a heart or a brain I'd definitely choose a heart because at least you'd do something. If you're a brain, at the end of the day all you're really at is settling for shitty situations.
Penny: You're the one who was killed by a toilet seat.
George: God, will anyone ever let that go?
George: Yuck! This juice tastes like ass, here you try it.
Mason: No, thanks. I'm trying to stay off the ass juice for now.
Daisy Adair: If Romeo had just masturbated a couple of times a week he would have saved both those nice families a heap of trouble.
George: Get the F out. Before I kick your F-in' A again.
Mason: But am I pretty?
Rube: Oh, you're darling. You make my heart flutter.
George: Don't you want to at one with nature and your fellow workers? Nope, can't. Bed-wetter.
George: Hi, Lydia. You've temped for them before. There's a dress code and your skirt needs to actually cover your ass... I don't care where your tattoo is, you cannot show crack at the office.
Daisy Adair: You know, George, you have your very own saint.
George: I'd rather have a pony.
George: Shallow's the new deep, haven't you heard?
