Quotes from Zooey Deschanel movies and TV shows

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

Summer: We're just friends.
Tom: No! Don't pull that with me! Kissing in the copy room? Holding hands in IKEA? Shower sex? Come on! Friends my balls!

Tom: What happens when you fall in love?
Summer: You believe in that?
Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.

Partygoer: So Tom, what is it that you do?
Tom: I uh, I write greeting cards.
Summer: Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be.
Partygoer: That's unusual, I mean, what made you go from one to the other?
Tom: I guess I just figured, why make something disposable like a building when you can make something that lasts forever, like a greeting card.

Summer: You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me.

Tom: Nobody loves Ringo Starr.
Summer: That's what I love about him.

Summer: All we ever do is argue!
Tom: That is bullshit!

Samantha Harper: You're thinking about the cop, aren't you?
Katie Burke: Maybe.
Samantha Harper: Okay, visualize this with me. You're down in New York consulting with Lou Gerstner or the head of GE telling them how to buy South American countries but on the weekends, you fly back up here to hang out with the cop, do cop things, maybe go to cop mixers.
Katie Burke: I like the cop.
Samantha Harper: Yeah, um, I can see that.

Samantha Harper: Please, I'll have a double order of escape fantasy and a side order of running away.

Paula: Hey-hey.
Kit: Hey... Paula... Good news. It's Champagne Thursday.
Paula: It's Friday.
Kit: Uh, yeah, Thursday came twice this week.
Paula: Huh... for the third straight week.
Kit: There's talk of making it permanent.
Paula: Oh, kind of like Daylight Saving's Time?
Kit: Right, but for booze.

Kit: I smell something. D'you smell something?
Paula: Oh! Oh, Tripp and I had crab today.
Kit: No, that's not it. I smell... fun.
Paula: What?
Kit: You are a dirty little fun-haver.

Arthur: Normality? We can talk about normality until the cows come home.
Ford: What is normal?
Trillian: What is home?
Zaphod: What are cows?

Nick Miller: You're a freaking gold digger, Jess.
Jess: Do you think that if I were a gold digger, I'd be interested in you? I would be the worst gold digger in the world.

Jess: A no-nail oath? You thought I was gonna sleep with one of you, like I just couldn't help it?
Nick Miller: It was me, Jess. I couldn't help it.

Nick Miller: Jess, are you okay?
Jess: No! This is the worst thing to ever happen to me. I've lived a very fortunate life.

Kryptonite - S1-E2

Schmidt: You consider me a sexy man, correct?
Jess: I don't know how to answer that question.

Cubs Fan ★

King Gristle: And what might your name be?
Bridget: Uhh...
Biggie: Lady!
Guy Diamond: Glitter!
Smidge: Sparkles!
Branch: Seriously?
Bridget: Lady Glitter Sparkles Seriously.

Allison: The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it.

Allison: Are you stalking me?
Carl Allen: No, I would never do that. Oh by the way, the new furniture looks great from the yard.

Allison: Have you met my friend Ian? He's a computer hacker. He helped me erase your MySpace page, and your band's MySpace page, and your FaceBook page. Happy networking asshole!