Quotes from Woody Allen movies and TV shows - page 7 of 8

Dick: He was always very fussy.
Allan: Yes, but look at the results.
Dick: Yes, you never went out.

Allan: You want a Fresca with a Darvon?
Linda: Unless you have apple juice.
Allan: Apple juice and Darvon is fantastic together.
Linda: Have you ever had Librium and tomato juice?
Allan: No, I haven't personally, but another neurotic tells me they're unbelievable.
Dick: Could I get a coke with nothing in it?

Nancy: My lawyer will call your lawyer.
Allan: I don't have a lawyer. Have him call my doctor.

Allan: I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.

Allan: No, my parents never got divorced, although I begged them to.

Ray: Remember my nickname when we were in the joint?
Benny: The Brain?
Ray: The Brain. That's what the guys used to call me, right?
Benny: But, Ray! That was sarcastic.

Ray: We make chicken-chip cookies, ahhhh... tuna mint.

Ray: I get a bad vibe about this guy, David. It's my street instinct, but I just don't trust him.
May Sloane: Yeah, I know why. Because he's younger than you are, handsomer than you are, he's much taller than you are, he's smarter than you are, he's much more exciting than you are.
Ray: May, don't feel obligated to pull any punches with me. I can take it.

David: So, you can see the difference between this Tintoretto and the earlier Byzantine painting we looked at? What would you say is the most significant difference?
Ray: Me? I'd say the frame's bigger here.

Ray: I'm no genius, believe me, I'm no genius.
Frenchy: Yeah, you don't have to sell me.

Ray: Very funny. You should be on tv.
Frenchy: I am! Open your eyes.

Ray: What is this?
Frenchy: It's a Damon Dexter. A discovery of David's.
Ray: Yeah? I say it's depressing.
Frenchy: Knock it off. You wouldn't know a masterpiece if it bit you in the ass.
Ray: I refuse to look at this, Frenchy.
Frenchy: And what's that supposed to mean?
Ray: It means as long as this is there on the wall, I don't look at that wall.

Ray: Ever heard of the Polish carpool? Every day they meet at work.

Ray: I gotta get some air. I'm going up on the roof.
Frenchy: Don't jump! You're too valuable as a dishwasher.

Ray: What the hell are you gonna do with a flower shop?
Benny: Burn it down.
Ray: What do you mean, "burn it down"? You're still burning stuff down for insurance?
Benny: I burn everything. That's how I sent two kids through college.

Ray: You see this? See how beautiful it is?
Frenchy: Yeah.
Ray: See what you're seeing there? It's not just New Jersey. When we first met, there was a sunset it was just like this. Remember that?
Frenchy: Yeah. In New Jersey, but in Colombia there was an earthquake.

Ray: It's Louie the 14th, or Louie the 15th. I don't know how high the Louie's go, actually.

Ray: Can we change the music, please? Because I feel like I should be wearing a wig.
Frenchy: You will be in a couple of years.

Ray: Your cousin May is dumb like a horse, or a dog or something.

Ray: What are you, a stroke victim?