Play It Again, Sam (1972)

Bogart: I never saw a dame yet that didn't understand a good slap in the mouth or a slug from a .45.

Allan: I gave her a home and affection and security. This was a little girl I found waiting tables at The Hip Bagel. I used to go in there every night and over tip her. A dollar fifty on a thirty-five cent check.

Dick: He was always very fussy.
Allan: Yes, but look at the results.
Dick: Yes, you never went out.

Allan: I attacked her. I'm a vicious jungle beast! She's panicking. By the time she gets home she'll be hysterical. What am I going to tell Dick? She'll probably go right to Police headquarters. Oh, what did I do? I'm not Bogart. I never will be Bogart. I'm a disgrace to my sex. I should get a job in a Arabian palace as a eunuch.

Linda: Would you like us to call a doctor?
Allan: No, no, I could use a 3 foot band-aid.

Allan: You want a Fresca with a Darvon?
Linda: Unless you have apple juice.
Allan: Apple juice and Darvon is fantastic together.
Linda: Have you ever had Librium and tomato juice?
Allan: No, I haven't personally, but another neurotic tells me they're unbelievable.
Dick: Could I get a coke with nothing in it?

Bogart: Now move closer to her.
Allan: How close?
Bogart: The length of your lips.
Allan: That's very close.

Allan: I wonder if she actually had an orgasm in the two years we were married, or did she fake it that night?

Nancy: My lawyer will call your lawyer.
Allan: I don't have a lawyer. Have him call my doctor.

Dick: What? You got into a fight?
Allan: Yep.
Dick: With who?
Allan: Some guys were getting tough with Julie. I had to teach them a lesson.
Dick: Are you all right?
Allan: Yeah, I'm fine. I snapped my chin down onto some guy's fist and hit another one in the knee with my nose.

Linda: What were you thinking about the whole time we were making love?
Allan: Willie Mays.
Linda: Do you always think about baseball players?
Allan: It keeps me going.
Linda: Yeah, I wondered why you kept yelling "slide."

Allan: I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.

Linda: My God! Can't you cook anything but TV dinners?
Allan: Who bothers to cook them? I suck 'em frozen.

Allan: If you want me, I'll be home, on the floor, having an anxiety attack.

Allan: No, my parents never got divorced, although I begged them to.

Linda: Why is it always so complicated?

Linda: Allan, do you realise what a wonderful thing has happened? Allan the most beautiful thing in the world has happened right under our very own noses. We've had a wonderful experience. Doesn't that surprise you? You didn't have to do anything. You didn't have to leave any half open books lying around. You didn't have to have on the proper mood music. Why, I even saw you in your underwear with the days of the week written on them.

Allan: Yeah, I get that.
Linda: What is it, fear or anxiety?
Allan: Homosexual panic.

Allan: I'm so excited, I think I'll brush all my teeth today.

Dick: You know any other girls?
Linda: I don't know if any of my friends are his type. I mean, most of the girls I know are fairly normal.