Play It Again, Sam (1972)

Nancy: Don't listen to him.
Bogart: Don't listen to HER.
Allan: Fellas, we're in a supermarket.

Nancy: You're a dreamer. You're awkward. You're clumsy. They can see how desperate you are. You know this. You said it yourself. Oh, face it, Allan. You may be very sweet but you're not sexy.

Bogart: I never saw a dame yet that didn't understand a good slap in the mouth or a slug from a .45.

Allan: I'll get broads up here like you wouldn't believe: swingers, freaks, nymphomaniacs, dental hygienists.

Allan: Here, I got you a present because it's your birthday.
Linda: How'd you know?
Allan: Well, you mentioned the date and I remembered because it's the same day my mother had her hysterectomy.

Allan: I gave her a home and affection and security. This was a little girl I found waiting tables at The Hip Bagel. I used to go in there every night and over tip her. A dollar fifty on a thirty-five cent check.

Dick: He was always very fussy.
Allan: Yes, but look at the results.
Dick: Yes, you never went out.

Allan: I attacked her. I'm a vicious jungle beast! She's panicking. By the time she gets home she'll be hysterical. What am I going to tell Dick? She'll probably go right to Police headquarters. Oh, what did I do? I'm not Bogart. I never will be Bogart. I'm a disgrace to my sex. I should get a job in a Arabian palace as a eunuch.

Linda: Would you like us to call a doctor?
Allan: No, no, I could use a 3 foot band-aid.

Allan: You want a Fresca with a Darvon?
Linda: Unless you have apple juice.
Allan: Apple juice and Darvon is fantastic together.
Linda: Have you ever had Librium and tomato juice?
Allan: No, I haven't personally, but another neurotic tells me they're unbelievable.
Dick: Could I get a coke with nothing in it?

Bogart: Now move closer to her.
Allan: How close?
Bogart: The length of your lips.
Allan: That's very close.

Allan: I wonder if she actually had an orgasm in the two years we were married, or did she fake it that night?

Nancy: My lawyer will call your lawyer.
Allan: I don't have a lawyer. Have him call my doctor.

Dick: What? You got into a fight?
Allan: Yep.
Dick: With who?
Allan: Some guys were getting tough with Julie. I had to teach them a lesson.
Dick: Are you all right?
Allan: Yeah, I'm fine. I snapped my chin down onto some guy's fist and hit another one in the knee with my nose.

Linda: What were you thinking about the whole time we were making love?
Allan: Willie Mays.
Linda: Do you always think about baseball players?
Allan: It keeps me going.
Linda: Yeah, I wondered why you kept yelling "slide."

Allan: I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.

Linda: My God! Can't you cook anything but TV dinners?
Allan: Who bothers to cook them? I suck 'em frozen.

Allan: If you want me, I'll be home, on the floor, having an anxiety attack.

Allan: No, my parents never got divorced, although I begged them to.

Linda: Why is it always so complicated?