Dr. Frankenollie: Let me introduce your co-worker. I made him myself.
Cape Feare - S5-E2
Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum. [Gallery laughs] Oh, now I get it. Ah ha ha, that's good.
Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
Blue-haired Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now? [A few people raise their hands] Be honest. [Everyone raises their hands, including Patty]
Patty: Ah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Robert, if released would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?
Sideshow Bob: Bart Simpson? The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hell-hole.
Parole Board Member #1: Uh, we object to the term "urine-soaked hell-hole" when you could have said "pee-pee-soaked heck-hole."
Sideshow Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Well what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say "Die Bart, Die?"
Sideshow Bob: No, that's German for "The Bart, The."
Parole Board Member #3: No one who speaks German could be an evil man.
Parole Board Member #2: Parole granted.
The Great Louse Detective - S14-E6
Bart/Lisa: Aaaaah! Sideshow Bob!
Sideshow Bob: Please. We've known each other for so long. Call me Bob.
Bart/Lisa: Aaaaah! Bob!
Day of the Jackanapes - S12-E13
Sideshow Bob: Urgh. Rakes, my arch-enemy.
Bart: I thought I was your arch-enemy.
Sideshow Bob: I have a life outside of you, Bart.
Brother From Another Series - S8-E16
Sideshow Bob: You do know I had a...problem with trying to...kill people?
Cecil: [sarcastic] Goodness, I had no idea! For you see, I have been on Mars for the last decade, in a cave, with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears.
Sideshow Bob: Touché, Cecil.
Hunter: Junior, I saved this company by getting out of babies and into package delivery. Monday, it'll all be yours, barring some monumental screw-up.
Hunter: We can't let it get out that we accidentally made a baby.
Bud Johnson: I know exactly what you mean Andy.
President Andrew Boone: Do you?
Bud Johnson: Maybe not.
Stinky Pete the Prospector: It's your choice, Woody. Either you can go to Japan together or in pieces. He fixed you once, he can fix you again. Now get in the box.
Dr. Hank McCoy: Have you even begun to think what a slippery slope you're on?
The President: I have. And I worry about how democracy survives when one man can move cities with his mind.
Dr. Hank McCoy: As do I.
Dr. Hank McCoy: Oh, my stars and garters.
