Chandler Jarrell: Ha! I got the knife! Now turn on the goddamn lights.
Quotes from Eddie Murphy movies and TV shows - page 5 of 8
Chandler Jarrell: Tell me about the Golden Child.
Kala: Every thousand generations, a perfect child is born, a Golden Child. He has come to rescue us.
Chandler Jarrell: Rescue us from what?
Kala: From ourselves.
Chandler Jarrell: Ah.
Kala: He is the bringer of compassion. If he dies, compassion will die with him.
Chandler Jarrell: So, if something happens to the kid, the whole world goes to hell?
Kala: The world will become hell.
Chandler Jarrell: Hey, bird! Did you just see a little Hare Krishna midget in the tree floating...or it me? [Telephone rings.] Must be Rod Sterling.
Chandler Jarrell: Hey, wait a second. You took a hundred. You took the hundred. No, that, no see, one dollar. See, one dollar is for you. See this George Washington? That's Benjamin Franklin. That's not happening. You got the wrong money.
The Old Man: Ahh...ahh...
Chandler: Can I have my money back? You gave me the wrong necklace too.
The Old Man: You're breaking my heart, asswipe.
Chandler: Oh, you speak English just fine.
The Old Man: So do you. So what of it?
Chandler: Hey, listen man. Give my hundred back, take this dollar and take this, and give me the right one.
The Old Man: Monkey breath, puke face, eater of turtle slime.
Chandler Jarrell: That is a cool trick. Did you ever think about going into show business? Because you could...I could be your partner, I could throw a rock at you, you make it float off, hit the wall. Standing ovations all over the place. You ever hear of Ed McMahon's "Star Search"? Do they have "Star Search" in Tibet? Probably not. They probably have "Food Search." But you know what we could do? We could all go on "Star Search", right? And we give the audience rocks and let them throw them at you and then you can move your hand, make them all hit Ed McMahon...hard!
Quick: You're gonna be the nine-toed-havingest-limpingest bitch in Harlem if you don't stop fucking with me. Now put the razor away.
Quick: How's Sunshine doing on that pick up man?
Bennie Wilson: Oh, he proposed to her four times already, said he would leave his wife and kids and convert from Catholic to Baptist. Now you know that's some mean pussy to make a man change gods.
Quick: It's not how many you shoot. It's who you shoot.
Sugar Ray: Damn, I'm sure gonna miss that place. You know we can't ever go back there again.
Quick: Man, there's other cities. Find someplace else to start all over again.
Sugar Ray: But there's no place like Harlem.
Bennie Wilson: You ain't lying, Sugar. Let me look at it one last time.
G: RobertRicky. Your good is Better and your better is Blessed.
Claude Banks: Don't touch this car.
Rayford Gibson: 'Cause I piss on the motherfucker. I ain't gonna touch it, I piss on it.
Claude Banks: Why you got to say nasty shit, Ray?
Rayford Gibson: 'Cause I'm a nasty motherfucker.
Claude Banks: I hope your ass piss the bed with that weak-ass bladder of yours.
Rayford Gibson: If I do, then I'll put the sheets on you.
Claude Banks: You know what you probably just slow me down.
Rayford Gibson: How I'ma slow yo slow ass down.
Dave: Welcome to Old Navy.
Captain: Lieutenant Bottoms, what is your status?
Lieutenant Bottoms: Captain, we had a small gas leak. It was silent, but not deadly.
Mushu: Go get her? What's the matter with you... After this Great Stone Humpty-Dumpty mess, I'd have to bring her home with a medal to be let back in the temple. Wait a minute! That's it! I'll make Mulan a war hero, and the ancestors will be begging me to come back. That's the master plan! Oh, you've done it now, man.
Mushu: You know, we have to work on your people skills.