Pa Cox: I'm sorry, Dewey. I just never realised until just this moment how easy it is to cut someone in half with a machete.
Dewey Cox: It is, right?
Ma Cox: I'm just so glad you learned to play the guitar so good... even without having a sense of smell.
Dewey Cox: It's okay mama, I learned how to play by ear.
Sam: You're gonna have to give him a moment, son. Dewey Cox has to think about his entire life before he plays.
Press Conference Reporter: What do your parents think about your protest songs?
Dewey Cox: What do your parents think about my protest songs? Mr. "Time Magazine."
Edith: What about my dreams?
Dewey Cox: Edith, I told you, I can't build you a candy house! It will fall apart, the sun will melt the candy, it won't work.
Edith: It's illegal to be married to two people at the same time, Dewey.
Dewey Cox: What about if, if you're famous?