Harry Block: Ira, are you sure you can handle this on your lonesome?
Harry Block: Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Harry Block: Great googa-mooga.
Governor Lewis: Put a plug in it, I'm not interested in your bureaucratic crap-ola.
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman: I didn't know you were coming to see the show, sir.
Governor Lewis: Well, you damn well better make it a good one, Sergeant.
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman: That's General.
Governor Lewis: Not if you screw this up.
Harry Block: So, do they give the Nobel Prize out in yearly payments or is it just one lump sum, like the lottery?
Ira Kane: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Harry Block: Oh, I'm not getting ahead of myself. I've very concerned about the potential tax consequences.
Governor Lewis: I oughta throw the whole goddamn, jacked-up bunch of you in prison. No, not that cushy federal place with the loose jumpsuits. State prison... with the crotch binders.
Dr. Allison Reed: There's something I feel I should tell you, but I don't know exactly how.
Ira Kane: Well, just say it. We're adults and we're all about to die a very horrible death soon anyway, so?
Dr. Allison Reed: I would've rocked your world.
Ira Kane: You already have.
Harry Block: There's a fly in my suit.
Ira Kane: You're gonna be all right, buddy! Cut him open, let's get this thing.
Harry Block: CUT ME open! There goes your Christmas gift, Judas.
Harry Block: I'm no biologist, but how many cells do single-celled organisms have?
Ira Kane: Harry, if we're going to be big important scientists you have to start to act the part.
Ira Kane: Give me back my friend, you big sphincter.
Dr. Allison Reed: At this rate, they will take over Glen Canyon in three days. In a week, the rest of Arizona. Within two months, the United States will officially belong to them. And we are extinct.
Governor Lewis: Oh, you gotta be shittin' me.
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman: No need to play the blame game here, Allison. No harm, no foul. Suffice it to say that we're all very appreciative of the discovery made by Dr. Kane and Mr. Black.
Harry Block: Block.
Harry Block: Testing, testing, one, two, one-one-one-two... this is D.J. Harry Block here, and I'm an Aquarius.
Ira Kane: Harry, would you stop it? I can hear you.
Harry Block: Don't you snap at me, unless you want an angry solid gold dancer on your hands, Ira.
Harry Block: Hey, beneath this calm, sexy exterior beats the heart of a true scientist.
Nadine: Um, Professor, the little wiggly worm things in there are breaking.
Harry Block: Ira, look.
Ira Kane: Yeah. It's not breaking, it's splitting. It's mitosis. That's how they reproduce.
Harry Block: No sex?
Ira Kane: No time for sex.
Ira Kane: Ira Kane, head of the science department, Glen Canyon Community College.
Harry Block: Harry Block, United States Geological Survey.
Wayne Grey: Wayne Grey. I took some chemistry in high school.
Ira Kane: You sure this leads to the main cavern?
Harry Block: It'll definitely lead us somewhere. Geology is not an exact science.
Harry Block: You going to finish that bacon?
Wayne Grey: Yeah, I am. I ordered it, didn't I?